I saw a coupon on Sunday newspaper where you pay full price for one day and the next day is free. If you are going to San Antonio for several days this may be a good deal; otherwise, if you are planning to go for a weekend, you may want to split between Fiesta Texas and SeaWorld. Fiesta Texas is very different from Six Flags, even though now they belong to the same company.
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We did SA about 3 years ago with my kids. They loved it. The good thing about a 2-day pass is that you CAN leave if the kids get tired and come back the next day. In addition to the regular water park there, they have a great kid's water area that you can frequent throughout the day just to cool off. We wore our bathing suits under our clothes for that purpose. It made an all day stay bareable in the Texas heat!
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We stayed at the Holiday Inn on the Riverwalk which was very nice at night. You could walk out the back door directly to the RW. There are other nice hotels along the RW that are just as good. We have also stayed at the less expensive hotels like Clarion in the past that were just as good, but not close to the RW.
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We go each year. My kids are 3 and 6. In fact we’ll be there in March also! You can do all of the shows and exhibits and the kiddie theme park in one long day. If they are tall enough for roller coasters and stuff you could tack on a 2nd day. Mine are too little for that. We are staying at Courtyard by Marriott San Antonio Airport at Northstar. It’s not too far from Sea World. There are hotels closer to the park, but this is kind of centrally located so you can do the riverwalk and other stuff also. Plus the hotel has an indoor pool (one of the few in San Antonio).
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We haven’t done any of the extra tours or stuff. But I do recommend feeding the animals … you can purchase trays of fish for a few bucks and feed dolphins and sea lions. This is fun!
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Do the behind the scenes tour. It is pretty neat! You get to pet little sharks & sting rays & get to see Shamu's tng pool. Also, get to the Shamu & Beluga Whale events early, find the person who's giving out the invites for Pix with them (you don't have to buy the pix, but you get a really close up with the animals). With Shamu, you take a picture in front of the tank. With the Beluga whale, they come up & "kiss" your cheek (might be too scary for the kids unless they're pretty independent). Also, find out when the dolphin feedings are. You can buy food there & feed them. It's a full day of activity so you just need to gauge what your kids are able to do.
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I normally go every year around march because I am from San Antonio. Most of time because it is sometimes cool all the attractions are not open. It only takes about a day to do the park. I must warn you there is a playground so it took me forever to get my smaller kids away from that. The dining with Shamu is great, we did the breakfast it was so cool. Now my family is there so I stayed with them so I am not sure about hotels. The shows are great and the with your kids being smaller they will love it. Let me know what you decide. Here is the website to go to www.seaworld.com, this will help you on times. I always made sure that I timed everything that way we would not miss anything. If you go the whole day starting when they open you can cover everything and by the time you leave they will be so tired (and you of course) that you can actually get some rest after a great day of Shamu. Before you leave the park you must take a picture by the sign you will see the cars so you will know where to go. Good luck. Hope this helps.
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Today’s Dallas Morning News has a supplement for San Antonio attractions with lots of coupons for stay and entertainment. Check it out.
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We stayed at a Drury Inn Suites our last time in San Antonio and it was great! We had 2 queen beds in the room and lots of room to walk around. It also had a small refrigerator and a microwave. It included a full breakfast and there were appetizers in the evening (pizza, potatoes, salad). There were many of the hotels in the San Antonio area. We stayed on one that was off of I10, a few miles south of loop 410.
We have done it in one day and in two days. Based on your kids age it will depend on everything they will want to do. There is now a great water park for the entire family and if you guys enjoy that kind of thing it is worth two days. One day to watch all the shows and another day to go to the water park and ride rides. If they still need naps, I would definitely take advantage of the two day passes. Also, there is a huge playground for the little ones as well, so with my youngest being 5 (last summer) her and I stayed there for a long time while my husband and the older ones rode rides. If you plan on hanging in this area a lot, there is not a lot of shade so make sure to bring lots of water and a misting fan!!.
We didn't stay close to Sea World this last time - we stayed at the Omni on Boulevard Ave (I believe). It is a nice hotel and very kid friendly. They have the Omni kids club so when you check in your littlest ones get a bag of cards, games, colors, etc. During the summer (so you might want to check into March as well) they offer family night movies at the pool. They set up a big screen and you can watch movies while you swim or hang out at the pool and cabana hut.
With it being March, it may be too cool for swimming so take that in mind and how much your kids can handle in one day
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When my boys were that age, we went to Sea World. One day was good. Dining with Shamu was fun. But if you’re going to do that, you might want to take a break in the afternoon for a nap or rest at the hotel and then go back.
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The Radisson right near Sea World is great. It can get a little pricey depending on time of year but one of the bonuses is they run a shuttle from the hotel to the park every half hour. No walking to your car, no paying to park, etc. And, if you want to go back to the hotel, take a break and then go back to the park it is only a few minutes away and the shuttle takes you back and forth.
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We took two days last year to see the park with our four year old. But, the second day was mostly spent at the water portion of the park. Given the time of year you probably won’t be able to utilize that so you may be able to see it all in a day. Depends on how much endurance your kids have! Make sure you spend some time in Shamu’s Happy Harbor. They have some great rides for the smaller kids. Also, they don’t really advertise the fact that you can get into the park around 9 even though it technically doesn’t open until 10. Not everything is open but sometimes you can catch a dolphin feeding before the crowds get there.
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We went there for last spring break.
What a great time to go. The park was not crowded at all.
We stayed at the Radisson, few blocks from Seaworld; the prices went up this year; so, we are looking at staying somewhere else for spring break (we are planning to go back this year again)
YES, I would say that you need both days. The Dine with Shamu was great for the kids! (The experience) (however, they did not eat, we did) The food was very good.
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We went last August. Our girls were 6 and 3 then. We did the park in one day and for us that was enough. Didn't do any of the extras though.
I would make sure you take them to see all of the animal shows and feed the dolphins. Besides the kiddie play area, your kids will only be able to go on one ride unless they are tall for their ages - the one that's like the rapids (inside the big inner tube).
Check out the San Antonio visitor web page and the convention bureau. We got better prices there - I think $5 or $6 discount on each ticket or free child with adult, can't remember which. But it ended up being a few dollars cheaper than TEXINS
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You may want to check tickets on the Seaworld website. The last time I went they had twodays for the price of one if you bought them off their website.
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We did not do the extra events and had fun anyway. I talked with someone there that was on the Dolphin adventure with her older daughter, and the daughter was having a blast.
One or two days really depends on how many breaks you want to take. It can be a lot of walking between venues, and some of them brisk if you want to catch as many as possible. We spent the second half of the second day at the water park there and my kids (7 & 8 then) had fun. There were a lot of kids your ages playing on the 'beach' and in the very shallow part of the wave pool.
Check the SeaWorld website for tickets too. I got 2-for-1 day tickets there cheaper than a one-day through Texins. (If they weren't cheaper, they were close in price.)
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I found an old summary for San Antonio, and there's quite a bit on Sea World...hope it helps
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We just came back from Sea World this weekend. There is a San Antonio website (http://www.sanantoniovisit.com) where you can get savings as well.
Click on the SAVE icon on the lower right and then SAVE brochure tab on the next screen. All you need to do is register in their database and a list of online savings are listed for various SA attractions. The one for Sea World was a $6 per ticket savings for a one day ticket. This was an e-ticket, so you pay online, print your tickets and then just go directly to the turnstile at the park.
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I think two days would be good. We were unable to see all of the shows when we went several years ago. They also have a behind the scenes tour that is educational, and really fun for the kids. Riding on a boat in the river walk should be a big hit for kids, and fun for you too! Have fun!
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We just happen to take a carful of kids to Sea World last weekend. We opted for the one day tickets (10% off if you get e-tickets at seaworld.com) and I'm glad we did. The park is open from 10 until about 10:30 in the summer and they all had more than enough fun and sun by the end of day 1. We usually do the typical Alamo, Riverboat cruise thing downtown as well, but the kids seem to get bored with some of that stuff after a little while.
There's also 6 flags fiesta if there into bigger rides. If you're driving, we also found an interesting place to eat on the trip. In Driftwood, about 20 miles south of Austin, there is a gigantic bbq place which was quite the experience called the Salt Lick (http://www.saltlickbbq.com/ ). It's a bit of a drive off I-35, but we found it to be well worth the trip.
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A little fresh advice on Sea World...
Go when they open (short lines on everything) and make sure you make it into the water park area before mid-afternoon. They get a big rush and there is a long, long line just to get into the area. They were also pretty lenient on bringing food and stuff into the park so if you want to bring your own picnic, you can.
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If you want to ride many of the rides and see all or many of the animal shows at Sea World, you can easily spend two days there. They also have several additional 1 or 2 hour tours you can purchase when you arrive at the gate. We have done a couple of them and they have been fun (particular the “Backstage-Pass” tour where you get to visit the dolphin and whale tanks without a huge crowd around you).
My kids, who are now 7 and 10, love to go on the Riverwalk in downtown San Antonio. There is a ~1 hour guided boat ride you can take on the river, which shows you some of the historic and interesting sights visible from the river. There are a couple of places on the river to buy tickets. My kids absolutely love the boat ride. It’s also fun just to walk on the Riverwalk and look in some of the shops and have lunch or dinner on the river.
Your older child might find the Alamo interesting if they have studied it in school. There’s not a whole lot to see there, for kids, but it’s good for 30 minutes or so. It’s also downtown, near the Riverwalk.
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We went to Sea World about a month ago and you definitely need two days at the park now that they have added the water area. The advice I received when we went was to go to the water area first, only so many people are allowed in at one time and their will be a long line once the area is full.
We purchased our tickets off the city of San Antonio website (not the Sea World website), we were able to get a buy one day and get the second free.
http://commerce.4adventure.com/store/dept_tickets.asp?ShopperID=OC379B79B07674B4EAC4EB9A8168DBC5&Token=GDHGHEJDFDLFDDI&dept_id=204&redirect=1
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We go there every year. 2 days would be about right. I found that getting the tickets on the web from sea world offers the best discounts.
Make sure they get to feed the dolphins and the sea lions. The dolphin show
is really very good and nice to do when it gets really hot outside (the mist
from the show will cool you off).
The Ripley’s believe it or not museum is near the Alamo and is fun for kids.
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In the past we have gone two days. We usually see all the shows and visit
the animals one day and hang out at the water park and enjoy the rides on
day two. It's worth two days! Enjoy.
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We went to Sea World several years ago(2 Adults/3 Kids) and thought that we
probably could have used that 2nd day. If you try to get all the shows done
it will leave very little time for the water park. We may have only stayed
a partial day on the 2nd, but we wouldn't have felt rushed to get it all in
in one day. At the time the 2nd day was only $8, so we should have probably
done that, instead we went to Fiesta Texas the next day, they also have a
water park built in.
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We, my husband, myself, and 10 & 12 year old went this summer. We spent the
entire day, 10AM-9PM, and tried to do everything, we didn't. We didn't know
if we wanted to spend two days at Seaworld or 1 day at Seaworld & 1 day at
Schlitterbahn. Since we couldn't decide and depending on the weather, we
bought our Seaworld tickets on-line, 2 days for the price of one. If you
have two days that you can spend at Seaworld, I would recommend it--my
children were exhausted.
We also did the Behind-the-Scenes Tour--my son wanted to touch a shark. We
scheduled this when we arrived at the park and reviewed the animal show
schedules. My children are very interested in animals, but the tour guide
said he thought the Backstage Tour was a better tour.
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The San Antonio zoo is really nice and the river walk is a lot of fun for
all ages. The Alamo would be fun for the 9 year old because they will be
studying Texas history in the next year or so but may not be that fun for
the 6 year old. They have a trolley right in front of the Alamo that goes
to the Mexican market on the west side of town and back, the market is very
interesting and has a lot of inexpensive gifts and good places to eat. The
trolley is fun and I think it is only $.50 per person to ride. (worth it)
But remember San Antonio is usually pretty hot in July.
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Check out Sea World’s website and read about “Dinner w/Shamu”. Our family
did this in May and it was neat. You get a behind the scenes look at the
Shamu whales and a wonderful poolside buffet with kid friendly foods too.
You don’t actually get to touch the whales but you get VERY close. I think
your children would like this a lot.
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The 2 day pass is definitely the way to go. The water park is wonderful!
With 2 days, you won’t feel rushed and can be more relaxed to enjoy taking
it all in. You’re kids will love it. If you like it and think you’ll come
back again within the year, you can upgrade to a season pass from your 2 day
pass for not much more……you can decide that as you are leaving.
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My family went to Sea World a few weeks ago. We did it in one day. It was
REALLY hot the day we went. We planned to buy tickets using the AAA discount
which was the best I had found. However, while we were in line to buy
tickets someone handed me an extra coupon which gave us an extra $1 off per
person. I don't know where they got the coupon.
Like I said, we did both the animals and water park in one day. To see all
the shows, ride the rides and do the water park took some scheduling
finesse, but it was OK. It did require us to do a little back-tracking. We
did the water park at the end of the day because I didn't want to wear a wet
bathing suit all day. I wish we would have allowed a little more time for
the water park. Note that it closes at 8:30 while the park closes at 9:00.
(I think I have the times right. The Lost Lagoon closes before the whole
park anyway)
It doesn't cost very much more to buy a two day pass, only about $4. So if
you have the time and want to be more leisurely, do the two day. We did
everything we wanted to in one day, and didn't have the cost of the hotel
room for an extra night.
All the shows are great, so don't miss any.
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Karen, go to the website and purchase ticket through Sea World. 1 day pass
is 10% off. They also have a buy one day and get 2nd day free. We decided
to go with the 1 day and save $ for parking ($8). We took a 2 yr old and
two teens this past weekend. Everybody enjoyed it, but the park is not big
enough to hang out for 2 solid days.
One more tip: go to the water park first if you can (or later in the day).
They do close it down when it reaches capacity. There was a huge line to
get into the water park around noon-ish. If you are stuck in this line, I
doubt you can enjoy the whole park in 1 day.
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We took our two year old in June and purchased tickets through Texins – the
tickets purchased through Texins have the 2nd day free provisions. I would
definitely recommended visiting the park two days versus one especially if
you want to see the shows and allow the kids time to enjoy the rides. Have
fun.
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We got passes when we got there - we were told that is the only way to get 2
day passes. It was good for us and good for small children to go in two
days if you plan on visiting the water park, watching shows, and riding
rides. Our girls are 12, 11, and 5 and it was worth 2 days since there is
so much to do. I would recommend going on a week day - it is less crowded
on Friday than Saturday. Ride the rides on Friday - less lines and watch
shows on Saturday. Do the water park either or both days. Get a locker in
the water park area if you plan on being in that area - that way your towels
and dry cloths are right there and not across the entire park.
I don't know where you are staying but we stayed at the Omni (not downtown)
and on the weekends they show movies at night in the pool area. Their staff
at the pool are great and keep the place nice and clean and will accommodate
all your needs.
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We just came back from Sea World this past week. I'd recommend the two day
pass. We spent one day taking in the shows and the second day at the water
park. The water park fills up fast, we arrived at 10:30 and the water park
opens at 11AM and there was already a large line forming.
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Riding down the river, the Alamo, Air Force Bases to see some jets (you may
not be able to go passed the visitor's center, but you could watch them take
off and land), Fort Sam Houston, San Antonio Zoo is wonderful
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It depends on how long you want to stay at the park. There is plenty to do
over a 2 day period. One option you have that you might not have considered
is getting your tickets through Texins and having the price directly taken
out of your paycheck. You can also divide the amount over a period of
paychecks (the amount depends on the total I think). I don't think the
tickets are really much cheaper than buying them at the gate, but you have
the payroll deduction option that way.
We went one year and my kids were pretty young. We were there when the park
opened and left when it closed. They were all exhausted. Take your
swimsuit and a towel to store in a locker. It's a great way to cool off.
They have a great kid's water area in the middle of the park.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Potty Training
We just recently did this with our twins—who will be 3 in August. Let me HIGHLY recommend that you do the method where you focus on potty training for a week straight—don’t go anywhere if you can help it, etc,--JUST focus on potty training. And NO pullups—except for when they sleep. Make it a BIG event, and switch to training pants the day you start. We followed the method in the book called “Toddler Wise”. It is MUCH work that week, but they pretty much get it after one week. VERY worth the pain. You’ll think you should give up after a day or so, but don’t! We did it during the week of Thanksgiving, thought we were going to die of exhaustion, but after the 5th or 6th day, they REALLY started to get it. You’ll still have some accidents afterward, but it is definitely better than dragging it out!
I got the spiderman, nemo underwear for my 3 year old son. He was so excited to see that he is now big boy. I told him don't mess the underwear b'cos it looks so good on you. Sometimes he missed ..but still I encouraged him to wear the underwear rather than potty trainng diapers...
Also every one hour or so checked with him if he wants to go ..
Making a habbit is very important. Persistance is the key thats what made him potty trained.
When I was potty training my daughter, she was doing OK with the potty chair, but she would not go #2, even if i made her sit there for an hour or so. So for Christmas I got her one of the soft potty inserts for the regular toilet and it worked almost immediately!! You can get one at Walmart with whatever character she's into (Dora, Blues Clues). It was the best $11 I've spent. Look for signs that she wants to be like "big people", drinking out of regular cups instead of sippy cups, etc. You might be able to skip the little potty chair altogether. Good luck!!
The thing that worked for us was to get the child out of diapers (just have regular cloth diapers or cloth underpants) there might be a couple of accidents but this typically would get them to potty train faster hope this helps
We have gone through this twice with our two kids.
Start off with letting your daughter sit on the potty training chair when she goes potty. When she is comfortable enough, you can take off her diaper and go from there. Don’t get frustrated, she will learn eventually.
Don't fret -- she will get it, but it might take her awhile. Until she WANTS to do it, it might take her a bit. Try rewarding her with candy/inexpensive toys every time she goes on the potty. Girly things are easy to find for cheap. Put them in a reward box for her to choose when she goes. Make a chart and if she goes in the for 5 days - give her a bigger prize. You have to find what type of rewards inspire her most. This can be as challenging as the actual potty training! :-)
You should train her when she is about 1 yrs old..it will take time for it. You can use the potty training seat over your toilet bowl since she is 3 yrs old..Just remind her to go pee every 1 or 2 hrs at first and longer later, make it like a habbit. you should go with her and show her how to use the toilet paper and check how is she doing..even at night you wake up and remind her maybe middle of the night. It will be hard for her and you too but if you dont do it then she will pee on the bed..dont ever try to wear pull up for her at night because that way will take longer to train her. Boy is hard to train than girl.Just about a month she will used to it.Good luck
Get the book, "How to Potty Train in a day". Its great!We did it with my son. My husband really did potty train him in one day.The key is to set aside entire day with no distractions; just you and your daughter.Kick everyone else out of the house. Good luck.
This came up once before and I will give you the prevailing answer that showed up in the summary as I remember it. It is the one I used. My daughter needed absolutely no help. My son needed lots of help. They are only 11 months apart. The answer is a reward system for successes. Find something that she really likes and make sure she does not get it unless she succeeds. We used peanut M&Ms, just a few at a time. It took less than a week for the whole process.
My first suggestion would be to start on a weekend and realize from the beginning that it won't take days or weeks...might take months before she gets the hang of it. My son was HARD to potty train...it took months.
Before you start let your daughter pick out some pretty undies that have her favorite characters on them. Then what I did was fill them up with liquids and let them run around the house in underwear. She will have accidents but she needs to feel what it's like to be wet or dirty...otherwise she'll never learn. Go crazy with excitement when she finally goes in the potty...everytime. They love it. Some parents use stickers or M&Ms for a reward...that never worked on my son but it's worth a try...he's a difficult kid in general! You might get a book or a video before you start to give her the basics of what she's about to learn. There's a really good video out there called "I gotta go!"...might try that. You can probably find that on the internet. Oh...and don't forget that potty trained during the day and staying dry at night don't really go together. It might be a while before she stays dry at night....but it will come.
I have 3 girls that when it was time to potty train all we did was go to the bathroom together everytime. Plus I would watch for signs from each of them as to when it appeared they were needing to go potty. You have to be consistant with potty training. Start taking her on a regular schedule to begin with then as she gets the picture she will start to go when needed. There's really nothing to it when it's mom doing the potty training of girls.
When we started potty training to one of my daughter...
==> kept on telling her she is a big girl now and she needs to do what big people do...
this has worked a lot for us.
==> We started giving her stickers and candy (gummies).
if your daughter doesn't care about either one... try to see what she really like and make is so that she gets that only when she sits on potty.
==> We started putting her on potty every 1 hour regardless she does anything or not.
this has helped us a lot.
One thing is true universally is that we (especially kids) like if they are appreciated and be center of attraction. We started doing that and that helped her wanting to sit on potty and after she is done she can't wait to see our reaction.
When we started, she was 21 months... now she is 30 months... and she only wears diapers when she takes name and at night.
Be very patience... accidents will happen... but that should not be a negative thing for her.. encourage her and reward her (even if it is a big hug, good words, dance, reading books, stickers, candy... small stuff like that).
There are some really cute videos for the kids, girl and boy specific. I can still hear the songs in my head but can't remember the title. Try a search on Amazon. I think there are pointers for parents, as well. Lisa
No need for special chair. Remove the diapers, put them on toilet seat when you guess it's time, rest will come eventually and quickly.
I have just started this process.
I am having better luck with advice I received. I was told to put my son on the potty every hour even if they have already soiled their diaper. Rewards do not coax him to do it but he loves it when he receives them after he has done something in the correct place and he loves praise. My son will hide in a corner and get very quiet when he is going so I immediately carry him to the bathroom, sometimes kicking and screaming, But I am encouraging him with positive comments the whole way there, it has worked every time. So far it is working ok when he is at home now I need to get the Daycare on board with it.
As for a potty training a boy I am teaching him to go sitting down first and for awhile – someone suggested that to me. It helps to give my son a book while he is in there --- he loves Potty with Elmo it has Elmo talking etc. Also, I noticed that he hated the potty chair that sat on the floor because it pinched him so we bought a cushioned little seat that fits on top of the commode inside the circle, we bought one at Home Depot and one at Walmart.
Note: at first we hovered over him and stayed in there and talked to him but I found out by accident he does better if you hand him the book and leave the room(of course I am just on the other side of the wall waiting for his call). I wish I could give more advice but I am only in the first stages.
The best advice I was given on the topic was put them in panties...(todays diapers are too absorbent and they miss "feeling" wet) and try for three days using standard Potty training advice. (put them on the pot when they wake up, about 30 minutes after eating and before sleeping and praise them for making .....) If they don't get it in three days, put them back in diapers for a month... a whole month. If they are ready to be trained they will get it in three days...otherwise you will be training yourself...not them.
We did this at home and with our sitter, for my son and the first day of the THIRD try.. he got it...not a single accident ever. He was ready.
Now my neighbor said after trying many methods that for her son, that the best advice was to allow him to run around naked below the waist a few days but this was after months! of her daily attempts and reminders. All these folks that say a child can be trained before 3ish are training themselves in my opinion. And I say this after witnessing an adoptee from China pee after a whistle (yes a whistle) at 14months! Good luck and have fun!
Oh, boys are easy. There are lots of fun ways to teach boys to peepee in the potty. You can put dish soap in the toilet water and tell him to make bubbles, or you can put blue food coloring in the water and tell him to make it green, or you can put a Cheerio in there and tell him to sink it! This is what boys live for!
What I did with my first son, who LOVED to pee in the potty but didn't want to poop in it, was make a trip to Walmart to the chicken/egg machine (my son is now 21, so this was a while back), and put in 40 quarters for 40 prize eggs. I kept them in a paper bag and told him he could have one every time he went poop in the potty. He LOVED those prize eggs. That same day he started pooping in the potty and never looked back, and never had another accident. He was 2 years, 8 months old by this time, so he was physically ready. He had just been stubborn about it up until I found the right motivation for him.
I can't stress enough how you will be wasting your time if you try to potty train your child before they are physically ready. It's hard enough to teach a child how to recognize the need for a bodily function before it's too late. If you start too young, it will be frustrating for everyone involved.
Another thing I did when my kids were potty training is I let them go around naked most of the day for a few days. This works best in the summertime, of course. That way they will definitely notice when they start to pee. You will have a few accidents the first couple of days, but if your child is ready and you have a handy potty chair in the room with them all the time, it will be a very quick process for them to figure out what's expected.
I never used pullups unless I was going out with my children. Pullups are just pull-on diapers, and don't teach them anything about using the potty. They are just another acceptable diaper-like thing they can pee in. Besides, big-boy or big-girl panties are special, and kids don't like to mess them up. It's another motivator to put regular undies on them and make a big show of it.
Scolding and punishing DO NOT work for potty training. This is something that your child will figure out very quickly that only THEY control, and that you care a LOT about it. If it turns into a struggle of wills, it won't be a pretty sight, you won't win, and you will have to undo the damage it ultimately does. Use lots and lots of praise and positive reinforcement, prizes and rewards. It will work, and you will be able to take a vacation with the money you save on diapers!!!
I had problems training my now almost 4 year-old. He was still not trained at 3 and I only had about a month to train him before his preschool that required he be trained began. He had sat on the potty a few times but, the biggest problem ended up being that he had not yet gone on the potty. I ended up putting him in his underwear one day. He went potty on himself and did not like the feeling at all, so he started making more of an effort to sit on the potty. Before the end of the day we accidentally hit it right that he went on the potty. We praised him, and you could actually see the light bulb go off in his head that said, ‘Oh, I get what you want’. He had very few accidents after that.
Some popular suggestions and comments:
- Try rewards instead of punishment
- Try a potty training chart that will result in a reward after a set target
- Limit liquid intake about 2 hours before bed
- Go with pull-ups as necessary, but especially at night –OR- skip the pull-ups all together since it’s just adding another step to the process
- Once out of pull-ups NEVER EVER go back, it WILL stall the process
- Get plastic mattress covers or absorbent pads for the bed
- Get some cartoon underwear as a reward. Also, they may like the underwear so much they will keep it clean.
- 3 years old is a usual age of accidents. Bed wetting and accidents could go on for a couple more years or more.
- Have my son help clean after an accident
- See the pediatrician to make sure all is well and get his input (watch for urinary infections)
- Try making potty time a game by shooting cheerios or something similar – Make it fun.
- Have patience
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Yearsby Jim Fay, Charles, Phd Fay, Charles Fay
i tried the book potty training in a day w/ camden several weeks ago. it is geared for children that are atleast 2.5 -3.5 years old. most of the concepts were over camden's head; however, he was gone potty four times since the "potty party." i am going to wait another month or two and try working w/ him again, i think camden is almost ready,; he'll turn two in nov. also, i checked out several dvds and books from the library on using the potty.
Elimination Communication PositionsElimination Communication, or EC, is a natural, hygienic, and respectful way of meeting an infant's elimination needs--usually without diapers. The caregiver responds to the infant's signals, enabling the baby to eliminate into an appropriate receptacle, rather than into a diaper. The recommended time to start EC is before the baby is 6 months old, but at that age, sitting on the giant cold toilet seat is an overwhelming task for even the most brave and coordinated baby. So parents who use EC utilize some basic positions to allow their babies comfortable access to the potty. These can all be modified according to your personal needs and preferences. 1. The front hold: Hold your baby facing outward, in a seated position, their back against your stomach, with your hands firmly around their thighs. Bend with your knees (not your back!) to lower them to the potty or sink. 2. On the seat: You sit on the toilet seat together, you at the back and baby at the front, between your legs. This is great for babies who are unsure of the toilet. 3. The cradle hold: For babies who love to pee while they nurse, you can hold a receptacle under their bottom while they breastfeed, and cue them when it is in position. 4. The squat: Older babies sometimes enjoy squatting on the toilet seat, provided you support them so they don't fall in!
I used a Potty train book & video. We bought a smaller seat to put on the regular toilet (with a little stool so it'll be easier for my daughter to sit). We also skipped the pull-up since that's just another step you will have to train later if you use it. My daughter hates it when she got wet...we let her use the panty right away...several times she missed, she hates the result..so she starts going to the toilet on-time to avoid the mess.
Make sure you praise your daughter if she does what she's suppose to.
I hope this is helpful.
Please don't expect her to be potty trained by 2. It is not really
realistic until 3.
I used verbal praise. It's probably different on every
child, but verbal praise works with Clarissa. I only
use treats once in a while....I don't want to make it
a habit. I believe there are certain things that they,
as a child, should do as their responsibility. I give
treats if she does something beyond the norm. That's
just me.
BTW, there's a good book to read about child
development. It's a series of books by: the Gesell
Institute of Human Development.
https://web59.mysecureserver.com/gesellinstituteorg/publications/#
if the link doesn't work, try:
www.gesellinstitute.org
then click on the "publications". I've read several
books which use the gesell's books as their
references.
good luck!
We are having fairly good luck with rewards. Every time Austin goes pee pee on the potty,
he gets his choice - chocolates, gummy worms, Animal cookies -- we only give him a few at a time,
but he thinks it's the greatest thing ever.
At first we would give him one M&M or whatever just for sitting on the potty, but now he is beyond
that and no reward unless he actually makes peeps. Sometimes he will wet his diaper and then you can
see the regret on his face - like 'oh, darn, now I can't get chocolates!
Be sure whatever you try that she is ready and have lots of patience. I have a 12 yr old and I remember
getting frustrated, but looking back it was such a small thing...we are really not rushing our boys at all.
I know for a fact that this will all be over too soon! : )
Good luck!
If you see obvious signs that she's ready for it, it helps. 1) We did stickers on the calendar each time she was successful, and a complete row earned her a small prize.2) Morning worked best for us because you can time it easily - as soon as they get up, they need to go, and cannot hold it for very long. We spend a while in the potty while she talked, read a book, or whatever she wanted to do. For some of my friends, doing the "big job" worked better because they had a good idea of when their kid goes every day.3) We made a big deal whenever she was successful - calling grandma, etc. We NEVER scolded her when she had an accident or made her feel bad. 4) We also let her run around in the backyard sometimes without panties and left the plastic potty outside to remind her to go. (We had a very tall board-on-board fence, and no 2-story home next door or nearby).5) Having an older friend/cousin demonstrate, and explain to her helped too. Kids are more likely to listen to other kids, and learn from them than parents. Good luck, this can be frustrating at times, but your patience and kindness with her in this "major milestone" will help her get through it.No use starting until the kid is really interested in doing it. Every kid is different. My oldest potty trained himself in one day after seeing underwear that he liked (we did go through about 10 pairs on that one day though). If the kid is really interested in being potty trained then make sure to start on a weekend when you can stay at home so you can see it through. We had one tough day with many accidents but we didn't make him revert back to diapers and by the next day he had learned and never had an accident since. He was 2 1/4.
My youngest, on the other hand, was never very motivated and finally became potty trained at 4. In the meantime the teachers pushed it early which I think led to resistance from him. Also meant we transitioned to pull ups (very expensive) early.
My husband’s cousin has 4 kids. 1 girl and 3 boys. She gave me great advice and it worked for Jackson. She told me that she really did the “potty-training thing” with the oldest two (one boy, one girl) starting at 2 ½. They were potty trained by 3 and a few months. It was 8 months of constant work placing an unwilling child on a potty seat. They youngest two boys she took a completely different approach and they were trained by the exact same age. She waited until they responded in the affirmative when she asked if they wanted to start going in the potty instead of diapers. If they said no, she just waited a week and asked again. Once they hit 3 she started telling them that they didn’t have to go on the potty, but if they went in their diaper they had to sit on a chair until she had time to change them. Now it was important that this was NOT worded as a punishment, just something like “uh oh Tommy, you tee-teed/pooped in your diaper and now we need to change you before you can go play. Wait right here for a minute for me to finish doing “whatever” and then we’ll change you and you can keep playing. If your child is like mine, the main reason for continuing to go in his diaper was that he didn’t want to stop playing to take a bathroom break. This helped cure that problem. I started this when Jack was 3 and he really had no interest in the potty. Magically he went from “no, I’ll just sit here and wait for you to change me” to “I want to wear big boy underwear” in a matter of weeks. Granted, he was 2 months past his 3rd birthday before he was trained, but I avoided all the hassle of forcing him to sit (and me to wait patiently nearby) on the potty for months at a time. My mother was horrified that I waited that long to start (in her mind I was of course potty trained by my second birthday) but I had a newborn baby and no interest in rushing out of diapers and on to toilets, particularly while toting an infant.
My son Carson at 2 1/2 asked to sit on the potty... he pooped. I was blown away. (Prior to this he had sat on it to pee and had stood next to it to pee--but never poop). The next day I put him in underwear and set a kitchen timer for every 30-45 minutes (cannot remember)... So instead of me reminding him it was time to sit on the potty, the timer did. And I tried not to battle... just said "the timer said it is time". The next day I put the timer about 1 hour apart. Then the next two hours. He had one pee-pee accident and one poo-poo. Then he was trained!! I thought I had found the magic pill.... haha Well my daughter is a whole other ball of wax. We tried this when she was 2 1/2 (aren't girls supposed to be easier? ha) And she had accidents almost once a day (for a couple of months). So this approach didn't work as well. But she was trained after about 3 months of me taking her every few hours. (Hell, I still have to MAKE her sit on the potty sometimes, and she is 3 1/2). STUBBORN.
I do think when they are really ready they will just do it (for the most part)...
Months of "accidents" and hassling William to go potty is not something I was willing to put myself through. I waited until a few months before his 3rd birthday to tell him that 3 year olds go potty in the big boy potty. He was with me at SAMS when we bought his "last" industrial sized box of diapers, and I made a point to tell him "William this is the last box of diapers Mommy is going to buy". I would ask him randomly as our last box of diapers dwindled - "William, what are we going to do when our diapers are all gone?". He would reply "go to the big boy potty". When we ran out (on a Friday 2 weeks after his 3rd birthday) I put regular underwear on him and sat him on the toddler potty every 30 min. until he finally peed in the toddler potty (he had 2 accidents on the tile before he went in the potty). Once he peed in the potty we high fived and went to Marble Slab. The next day he pooped in the potty and that was a toy from the dollar store! Then we made a poster with 30 squares and I told him that every day that he went potty in the potty he would get to fill 1 square with stickers and that when all 30 squares were filled he would get a bike. 48 hours later...he was trained! Hope that helps!
Olivia, one thing we did for our youngest two girls was to have a reward jar near the potty that she could choose something from each time she went potty. We had snack size candy, McDonald's toys, hair accessories and small books. Then, if she went all week with no accidents, she got to go to Toys-R-Us (with a limit of course) for another treat.
You have to find which rewards work best for your child. Once you do, wow -- it's amazing! Good luck!
It's amazing to see we are all tackling the potty training stages!! My daughter Katelyn Avery will be 3 end of Oct and we are in full stage training! I think its all about being consistent and establishing a routine for them, which they thrive on. And I also believe they will succeed when they are ready, own their own terms and with our encouragement with their success!! My sign that it was time to move on, is when Katelyn literally told me she didn't want to wear her diapers anymore and when she was waking up dry in the mornings! We of course moved on to Pull-ups. These have been a hit for us because we all know the "I wanna do it by myself" stage, and it encouraged her to put them on by herself and good way to encourage no peep-peep so that the designs didn't go away.
Before going to her current pre-school program, my previous day care provider helped me with the process and she taught only on the big toilet, no small kiddie potty. Katelyn was around a couple of other older toddlers all potty trained or in training and of course that helped because she wanted to do what they were doing. We are just now getting out the "I don't need to go potty" at home - I guess she thought she was too busy at home to worry about the potty. In her current pre-school program (Village Learning Center, minutes from our neighborhood) they have the kids go to the restroom every single hour. Their restrooms are at their level, meaning the counters/sinks are lowered so they can wash their hands with ease and their toilets are smaller versions of the real thing! So when we get home from pre-school I maintain the every single hour routine till bedtime and all of this week we have had huge success with no accidents and remained in our big girl underwear until bedtime. We are using Pull-ups only at night and sometimes on the weekend. Our next hurdle for us is understanding that "everyone poops on the potty", still are having a little hurdle in this area - all in good time - unfortunately it does not happen over night - I guess that's why its call potty training!!
These are a few things that are working for us:
~purchasing a ton of "big girl" underwear - our pick the Disney princesses - picking out who we want to wear is a big thing!
~buy a seat with handles that you place on the toilet and a stool helping them get on the toilet
~if we are just too busy to go potty, I make it a game to get to the restroom - singing a silly song or something for them that its fun
~in the very beginning I would turn on the water in the sink to a trickle - don't know what it is but always seems to work
I noticed that the pullups didn't really work that well with both my girls, because they felt like diapers to them. So you can try that at first but if they don't get the idea you may have go to the training pants.
You should consider purchasing "training underwear". These are cotton panties that are padded with extra thick cotton on the bottom (crotch area) to help absorb wetness. Buy lots of them at least consider you might need 3 a day initially. You may not wash daily so you should have 10 on hand so you aren't washing 24X7. You can purchase these cotton "training underwear" at Walmart. It's been about 2 years since I shopped for these so you might have to look at a few places.
I don't recommend a baby potty... rather get a fitting that will fit onto your toilet. Check out this one on toysrus-- http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2654424&cp=2255976.2256090&pg=2&parentPage=family
Get a step stool. So that she can get up on the potty. You can use this later, when she starts to brush her teeth at the sink herself. She'll be able to reach the water handles with this. See this one-- http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2574104&cp=2255976.2256090&pg=2&parentPage=family
Also, reward her when she goes to the potty. My oldest was happy with stickers. My youngest wanted 2-4 skittles each time she went to the potty. Whatever you can do to make it a big deal.
Finally, take her shopping for her first set of panties. You should probiby do this when she shows signs that she is trying to let you know she has to go. Tell her how important it is to keep the panties clean. If she has a special character that she adores that will help her to take care of her new panties.
Good luck.
When potty training each of my 3 daughters, I took them every time I went. Also when they had something to drink, I would take them to potty about 30 minutes afterwards for right after then usually when I went.My daughter started to potty train when she was 2 but
regressed when our baby was born. Now at 3 she is willing and wanting
to get out of her diapers. It just took time and patience.
It also helped that she got M&Ms for making potty and after one week of
no mistakes, she got to go to chuck-e-cheese. Really, she started doing really good after the chocolate/sticker idea was introduced. I don't like bribery but if it works, it works. She got 3 M&Ms for #1 and 6 M&Ms for #2. Give her a sticker on a chart every time she goes give her a sticker (they have a Dora potty chart at Burlington coat factory for potty and washing hands afterwards).
You have to take her to the potty consistently at first even if she
doesn't go. I usually kept books or would sing a song while she sat
there. She really liked the Dora cushion (you put on top of your
toilet) rather than the separate potty (bought an expensive one based on rating on amazon.com). We potty-trained our kids most of the way by setting aside an entire week (the week of Thanksgiving) where we did pretty much nothing but potty-training. We didn't go anywhere, really. And no pull-ups--unless they were sleeping. We followed the recommended procedure in the book "Toddlerwise"---and it was really hard at first, but I REALLY believe it worked much better than dragging it out.
My little one was pretty stubborn. We just had to set hard and fast rules about going potty ... before dinner you have to try to potty. Before we leave to house to go anywhere you have to try to go potty. Before bath, before bed ... Eventually it just started working.
Good luck. I know how frustrating that can be.
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My daughter sailed through potty training but my son needed some help. They are 11 months apart. He responded to a reward system very quickly. With each successful trip to the toilet, he was rewarded by 3 to 4 peanut M&Ms. He was completely trained in a little over one week. We were very strict and did not reward any mistakes or near misses, only complete successes.
I don’t know if this is endorsed by experts but it certainly worked for us. The treat of course is child specific
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Trying a sticker approach. Every time she makes effort put a sticker on her shirt or on a poster in the bathroom and every time she goes she gets 2 or 3 stickers or even a special sticker (whomever she likes – Dora, Blue’s Clues, whatever and the other “trying” stickers could be simple stars from somewhere like Staples). You may even consider if she gets 10 or 15 special stickers she gets to eat on a special plate (whether you make this plate up or you buy some paper plates of her favorite character – this almost always works to praise my son for something). In addition be prepared for her to fall back into the lack of potty training after the next one gets here as she will feel a bit neglected. I just read a great suggestion on babycenter.com yesterday on how to prepare the “older” sibling for new brother or sister. You can take her to pick out a special present for the baby and wrap it, also pick out a special present of big sis and wrap it so when big sis comes to see little sibling she can feel proud bringing her little sibling a present and yet can be even more surprised by receiving a little something herself. Finally the advise was, to also go to the dollar store and buy a few cheap things for big sis and wrap them – then whenever you have had a lot of visitors or what not that leave her feeling a bit un attended to you can ask her to “help” change her sibling and then surprise there is a little wrapped cheap toy for big sis….
I know it might sound like a bit much but in the beginning I’m guessing my little one will feel very sad that he no longer has all of mommy’s attention and I think it is good praise him for help
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My pediatric advised us when we went through the stage: do not pressure them, not the under 2.5 yrs old since it may cause the withdraw and back fight sometime. Well…I did not take it serious and it happened just like the Dr said. Eventually, they will be ready when they decide they do not want to make the mesh in their pant any more. And when they are ready, it’s a matter of a couple days. When my kids get ready, they make it happen over just 2-3 days -on their own and we don’t pressure them into it (after my 1st try).
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It’s been a couple of years since I went through this, but I remember the magic bullet being cloth training pants or just regular underwear. I’m not sure if you are using them, but as long as I used pull-ups, it was too easy for my daughters to avoid the potty. You’ll go through a lot of laundry by using cloth, but it’s worth it. They potty trained pretty quickly (one within days, the other within a couple of weeks). They can tell that they had an accident and become uncomfortable being wet. Plus, it was fun for them to go pick out “big girl” panties. There are so many to choose from, it’s fun for them to pick their favorite character.
Your goal of two months is definitely achievable. Good Luck!
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First, congrats on the impending birth of baby #2.
Some basics on potty training. Girls are generally faster/easier learners than boys so you’ve got that in your favor. On the other hand any emotional/physical disruptions (e.g. birth of a sibling) can derail an otherwise veteran potty trained toddler. Even if she were completely potty trained today, she’d likely regress when the new baby arrives. The going at school, but not at home may be for your attention so that could get worse the bigger your baby belly gets. The baby’s not here yet, but she may already feel like she’s vying for your attention. There are all kinds of reward systems you can try. See the attached PARN summary. It’s about bed wetting, but includes lot’s of useful general potty training tips, books, web sites, etc.).
Good luck! And remember, the warehouse clubs (Costco, Sam’s, etc.) sell diapers at bulk rate prices – all sizes. J
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1. Offer rewards (like M+Ms) for when she goes in the potty. If she pees on the floor, let her know that if she went in the potty, she would have had a reward. Do not punish accidents.
2. Take the child to the potty every hour. My daughter often decided that she was too happy playing to interrupt her fun to go sit on a potty.
3. Expect some reversion after the new baby (my daughter was almost three when my son was born, and went back to pull ups for two weeks).
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With our first, and now our second, child we ran into the same issues. We read all the books and tried most of their suggestions. What it boiled down to was bribery! For both of our daughters the key was candy. In our first attempts we tried small toys or stuffed animals and had marginal success. But as soon as we introduced a small piece of candy she could not be stopped. I’m not saying candy is the answer for your daughter, you just need to find out what will truly motivate her.
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Don’t rush it! I know it would be nice, but you could make it worse if you put too much pressure on her.
I would try bragging about how well she does at day care and ask her to show you what a ‘big girl’ she is at home. Another trick, take her to the store and let her pick out some ‘big girl’ panties that she likes and tell her that when she starts being a ‘big girl’ at home like she is at day care, she can start wearing these ‘big girl’ clothes. No matter what you do, I would have some sort of goal for her to reach. This may help her stay focused on the task.
Good luck. I know I don’t miss those days. But I will tell you, between my 2, my daughter was easier to get trained.
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You just need to find the right motivator to make your child WANT to go potty in the right place. Obviously she's physically able to do it because she has no trouble at daycare. She's just not motivated to do it at home. Maybe she enjoys the time you spend changing her. Or maybe she just doesn't want to pay that much attention while she's at home. My advice is to have a reward system designed especially for her.
With my oldest child (now 20), it was those prize eggs that you get from the chicken machine at the store. You put in a quarter and get a plastic egg with a secret surprise inside. There was such a machine at the Walmart nearest our home at the time. He just LOVED that machine! Well, he could go #1 in the potty just fine at home (boys love to watch themselves pee), but he refused to go #2 in the potty (he was 2 yrs. 8 mos. old, so I knew he wasn't too young). So I went to Walmart with a roll of quarters and a paper bag, and I bought 40 of those little prize eggs. I showed the bag full of prizes to my son and told him that he could ONLY get one when he went #2 in the potty. From that day on he never had another accident! It was amazing. Once he was motivated, he was unstoppable!
All you'd need to do is find the perfect thing that would motivate your daughter. You could even make your own prize eggs stuffed with things that you know she loves. Or maybe she likes candy, or maybe she likes dimes or quarters for her piggy bank. It needs to be something that you're willing to give several times a day, so if you limit her sugar intake you probably won't want to use candy as a prize.
The only other piece of advice I'd give is to NOT make a big deal out of it when she has an accident. Make a BIG deal out of it when she does use the potty, but don't fuss if she doesn't get it right. Try to pay as little attention to the accidents as you can. That way she'll get more attention when she does get it right, and it'll be even a better motivator.
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Try getting her some fun books on Potty Training with buttons and sound chips of the toilet flushing, etc. Also, buy some stickers that she likes and keep them in the bathroom for a reward when she goes potty like a big girl.
Both of these things worked for me.
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I have a 2 year 9 month old daughter. She started to use the potty just after she turned two. In my opinion, 2 years old is still young for them to ‘get it’ 100% of the time. My daughter was perfectly capable of using the potty, but sometimes she wanted to and sometimes she didn’t. Sometimes she told me beforehand and sometimes she had an accident.
I did take her 100% out of pull-ups or diapers during the day after she turned two and just put her in panties. Pull-ups never worked for her….she associated those w/ being ok to potty in. So I just dealt with the accidents and put her in a new pair of panties. Some days, we went through 6 pair!
I just stuck with it….I had baby #2 when she was 2 years 2 months old and she did regress a bit, but I never put her back in diapers/pull-ups. I just kept reinforcing the potty. I would say within the last 3 months she has got it completely. Very few accidents and even those are minor as she catches herself right away and runs to the potty. I still use pull-ups at night because we tried a few different times to night-train and we now realize she’s not ready for staying dry at night. Her pull-up is very full in the morning and she’s a heavy sleeper so she would just sleep right through it. I’ll probably try night training again when she turns 3.
I am not sure putting him in timeout Is the best way of trying to get him back on track, punishing a child for an accident…humm not sure, but you do what you think is best. It is all trial an error any way.
I would say put him back in pull ups and ask him quite often for a few days or a week or so…….…do you need to go to the bathroom? Every minute if you have to. It will be a pain at first but it will get him to thinking about it again. And from time to time take him to the bathroom and sit him on the potty and see what happens (talk to him make it positive), especially if you see any signs at all. Even if he has already done it take him anyway and gently say “this is where you need to go potty”. Everyone will have to do the same thing all day to have some consistency, so you need to get your day care person on board with this as well. This worked for my friend and I read a little about it on www.Babycenter.com. It may or may not work but as I said before it is all trial an error.
Figure out how to make it fun for him to go in the potty chair (put some toys next to it etc.). Maybe try a reward system or something.
One lady here said ask him why he will not go in the potty anymore? She said you may be surprised how he answers. ????
I do not have much on night time bed wetting but I heard of one parent waking her child up 2 or 3 times a night to go to the potty for about 3 weeks and it stopped. I am not sure I would try that or that this is the wisest way to go but it did work for my co-worker.
Also, you may talk to his Dr…….he may have incontinence (I think that is how you spell it)or a urinary tract infection(baby Center). I have a friend whose son has incontinence and he is 3.
One more thought…….I do not know the reason you and your parents live together and I hope I am not over stepping it…I am sorry if I am:
There only needs to be 2 parents and if you are single one parent in the house who makes the rules and disciplines the child. It will confuse the child if your parents disagree with you in front of him. He will get confused on who has authority. This could cause respect problems. Their actions could cause discipline problems. Some how and I know it is hard you need to talk with them about it. If he cries and you are not doing any harm to him they need to stay away. With all situations they need to not disagree in front of him. If they do disagree they need to address it to you alone later when he is not around. Children are smart they know how to work it. Tell them you welcome their advice but they need to not argue/disagree in front of him. My husband and I will not disagree in front of my son, we let that person handle it their way at that time and talk it over later alone.
Grandparents need to stay Grandparents.
Just my opinion, I hope this helps.
Also, my sister in law checked out a video from the library for kids about potty training. It was kind of goofy but what ever works.
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It is very common for preschoolers to still wet the bed at night — almost half of all 3-year-olds, in fact. Occasional nighttime wetting (sometimes as often as twice a week) is perfectly normal at least six months to a year after successful daytime toilet training is completed. The most common reason for a child who's been dry at night — for at least six months — to start wetting again is a urinary tract infection.If your child consistently wets the bed at night, he may have a small bladder or may not yet have developed the ability to wake up in response to a full bladder, but this problem will probably pass as he gets older. If your preschooler starts bed-wetting after a long dry period, he may be responding to some change or stress in his life. Once the stress passes, the problem will probably also go away. What you can doIn most cases, the best way to handle bed-wetting is to treat it as something natural and unimportant. Above all, try not to put pressure on your child and don't punish him. Staying dry all night is a developmental skill that almost all children achieve in time, whether by sleeping through the night without wetting or by getting up to use the bathroom.While you're waiting for your child to outgrow bed-wetting, ensure that his mattress is adequately protected by a plastic sheet, encourage him to wear absorbent undergarments such as extra-thick cloth or disposable training pants, and urge him to get up as soon as he realizes he's damp. If he does wet himself, make sure you change both his bedding and his pajamas so his skin won't get irritated and he'll get used to sleeping in dry pj's.You might also try a calendar or chart system noting his successes (dry nights) while never reprimanding him for wet ones. "Seeing the number of dry nights increase week by week is usually a positive motivating factor that parents can build on with their praise," says Daniel Kessler, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Phoenix, Ariz.
What to watch out forIf your child "dribbles" urine constantly, strains while he pees, or complains of burning or pain when he goes, he may have an infection or other health concern. If that's the case, call his pediatrician as soon as possible. You should also talk with his doctor if his urine is cloudy or pink, or if he has redness or a rash in his genital area. These guidelines apply to both boys and girls.If a child starts wetting the bed after a long dry period, there may also be an underlying emotional cause. Talk with his doctor about any emotional factors you think might play a part, such as starting a new school, changes in the family (such as separation or divorce), or physical abuse. What's aheadTypically, children who wet the bed more than once a night will start to outgrow it by wetting the bed fewer times each night. Then they move on to wetting fewer nights each week, with fluctuations back and forth, until they eventually outgrow bed-wetting altogether. You'll want to steel yourself for the long haul, though: The entire process can take a couple of years.
[My son] has actually given us enough trouble that we have seen a professional behavioral therapist. He highly recommends the following book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1930429002/qid=1109780575/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-9144698-9828642?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
The essence of it is not to get upset, and give the child plenty of sympathy before setting limits or impose consequences. Then afterwards give them a couple of choices to redirect their behavior, and restore their sense of having some control.
A few examples I can remember:
Inappropriate behavior at dinner table -- Say "how sad, dinner is over" and take away food / get them down from chair. That's it. No getting upset, threats, or other punishment other than the end of dinnertime.
[My son] is too young for this one, but it sounds good. If you are having trouble with putting away toys, just tell them that any toys you pick up are going bye-bye for a day, but he is welcome to keep any toys he picks up himself.
Don't have a battle over putting on jackets. Give them the choice of putting it on inside, or carrying it along to see how long they can do without it.
Time outs are reserved strictly for out of control behavior -- hitting, etc. It is meant to be a time for the child to calm down rather than punishment. For other misbehaviors try to think of a logical consequence directly related to the act.
The universal advice from several sources was never to try potty training until they are ready and never punish failures. Unfortunately his serious illness may have set back his potty training, and you might just need to go back to diapers for a while. Hopefully he doesn't like diapers as much a big boy pants. You might want to skip the pull-ups and go back to real diapers as extra motivation. Then when you go back to trying, it might go like this: "How sad, you wet your big boy pants, you are going to need to wear diapers for the rest of the day." Then after changing him, give him a choice: "Do you want to wear your blue jeans or your brown pants?"
Based on all the research I’ve done 3 years old is pretty early for a boy to be completely potty trained. The problem he is having during the day is probably due to the fact that he had to wear pull-ups for a while due to being sick. I think he just needs time to get back into the routine of going potty. Consistently staying dry at night can take a good bit longer to achieve. My son is turning six this month and still doesn’t stay dry at night.
Also, I’ve read from several sources that a child should not be negatively disciplined for having an accident. However, your parents should not question your authority in front of you child. That is definitely something you should address with them (although not an easy thing to do).
I would suggest never punish a child for wetting his pants. Only praise him and give him little rewards for not wetting his pants...
Part of the problem to is he is getting mixed signals from you and your parents. If they are living with you, they need to understand that what you say goes and respect that. They for sure shouldn't question your actions where the child can hear.
Just before my son turned 3 he was potty trained. No accidents day or night. Just after his 3rd birthday he broke his leg. He was in a cast for 6 weeks. When he got his cast off, we had to retrain him all over again. We didn't use discipline, because it never helped and just upset everyone. We just trained all over again. Bought his favorite character underwear. I feel bad for your son, but he will probably just need a good long weekend of retraining and pull ups at night until trained again in a positive manner (stickers, starts, candy as a reward)
Good luck, I know it's difficult.
I hear boys are more difficult than girls to potty train, but when my daughter was 3 she and I had a little heart-to-heart talk about this subject. I told her, “Rebecca, this is something that is completely up to you. It is your decision about when you’re going to control your own self and pay attention to the feeling in your body that tells you it’s time to get to the bathroom. It’s all your deal.” And then I no longer punished her for accidents and didn’t talk too much about it. About one week after that she was finished with pull-ups and no accidents.
She is 9 years old now, but she’s always been a gal who likes to be in control, so she took this to heart. If you know what makes your son tick, you might try appealing to that part of his personality. Good luck. It’s frustrating I know.
Liz, the bad news is my son and my sisters son went until 5 before completely stopping. Most of it was just lazy ness on my sons part
It is hard on everyone when they have setbacks in areas they’ve already mastered.
You might try small rewards for success. My three-year-old responded well to a sticker chart. I bought at the grocery store a pad of sticker charts (about 4” x 6”) and small stickers to fit the spaces on the charts. He could place stickers on the chart every morning that he woke up dry. When he filled a page he received a small toy, like a hot wheels car, bottle of bubbles or small container of play-dough. I was pretty liberal with the stickers so that we didn’t have disputes about the stickers themselves. For example, if he was really proud one morning and wanted to place more than one sticker on the chart, that was fine. After he had mastered the skill, we phased out the stickers and I eventually put the chart away so that he didn’t ask for the stickers and prizes anymore.
You might also teach your child to help clean up the mess when there’s an accident. You can handle it matter-of-factly so it’s a natural consequence of the event rather than a punishment. This helps them learn valuable skills as well as teaches them that when they make mistake they can help take care of the outcome of the mistake.
Good luck,
Janell
p.s. You might also tell your parents about your strategy for reteaching your child to stay dry at night. In that context, you can also talk with them about the need for you to be in charge of discipline and that it would be most helpful for them to express any concerns privately to you.
Just my opinion (but my son is only 1 yr old). I would say that it is probably not uncommon for a boy to revert back when he had a month of pull ups. I would just try to be as patient as possible (I don’t how long it has been that he is back in big boy pants) and praise him like crazy when he makes it. You might even consider giving him a reward at certain milestones (i.e. Time to watch his favorite show alone with Mommy for going all day without wetting his pants and then a trip to chucke cheese for a week – something simple and small) but I definitely wouldn’t put him in timeout because this is not something that he “wants” to do. It is something he was conditioned to do again so he shouldn’t be punished for it, in my opinion. As for your parents – that is hard. I have a hard time telling my mom what we want to do but I find that it is so much more effective. I would try to calmly talk to them one night after your son has gone to bed and when it hasn’t been a stress filled day and let them know that you tried your best to respect them when you lived with them and you really want and NEED them to respect your decisions in your home. They don’t have to like the way you discipline but try explaining to them that if they counter it (or don’t show some kind of support for it – remember he is only 3 he will defiantly try his best to get out of punishment and if crying works with the grandparents then he will keep trying it) then they are really doing everyone in the family a disservice because your son gets mixed messages. If they want him to be consistent in going to time out without crying then they have to be consistent in ignoring his fits and supporting your actions (even if it means they just calmly walk away from the situation). These are just my thoughts, good luck.
#1 explain, to your parents, out of ear shot from your son that you will not tolerate them making comments on how you discipline your son, in front of your son. If they want to tell you about the discipline to do so later in the day away from your son and you will be happy to hear what suggestions they may have on disciplining.
Tell them if they can't tolerate the crying, when you discipline him, to go outside for a walk.
Cut out liquids after 5 PM and make sure your take him to the bathroom before he goes to bed.
My grandson (who lives with me) was around 3 yrs and 4 mos old by the time he had perfected potty training. The best thing to do is relax and praise him when he doesn’t wet the bed. We used to sing a little song “You did, you did it”, kind of like on Dora the Explorer it really made him proud. (When my grandson had an accident, I just told him, oh well let’s try again tonight). He would get really excited when his pull-ups came up dry.
Another thing that helped us was we encouraged him to go potty before naps and bedtime and didn’t give him a lot to drink prior to going to bed (just a little sip of water if he asked for a drink).
Good luck, he will get it down eventually. Try letting him pick out some new underwear.
P.S. My grandson is now almost 4 ½ and sometimes has accidents during the day (very rare), because he is so busy with what he is doing he “forgets”. I never make a big deal about it and just tell him to change is clothes and try to remember next time.
I recommend working on the daytime accidents first and don't worry about the night time accidents.
Both my sons went well past 3 years old before they routinely stayed dry at night. Sometimes they just sleep too soundly to wake up when they have a full bladder.
For daytime, maybe you could implement a reward system. We had a chart and used stickers to mark each dry day. After a certain number of days without a daytime accident, we celebrated with a special dinner and dessert. (My son proudly announced his accomplishment to the waitress and everyone else within earshot.) If you're having trouble getting through the day, you could change the metric to number of days with only 1 accident. (You know, this is starting to sound like a control chart.)
I do not believe that you should punish (time out) your child for bed wetting or for wetting accidents. If it was a true accident, then there is no need to discipline your child since it was an accident. Now I don't believe that kids would wet themselves on purpose because I don't think it is to their advantage. But with that said, I can understand you frustration over this. Maybe try and reward him when he does make it on time to the potty. Have a star reward where for every time he goes to the potty you put a star on a chart and at the end of say 10 stars you take him for ice cream or some special treat that he likes. That is a more positive way to reinforce the right way of doing things and might make it a bit of fun for him to go to the bathroom. When he does have an accident just remind him that he needs to make sure to take the time to go and tell him you don't get a star this time.And as far as your parents, although they might mean well you ultimately are the mother of your son and not your parents. I would have a good talk with them and explain it to them that although they might not agree with the kind of discipline you are enforcing on your son (time outs) that this is your (and your husband's) decision and this is the way that you have chosen to discipline your child. Also tell them that you would appreciate it if you did not comment about your discipline methods in front of your child when you are enforcing your discipline. This will undermine your authority with your child and this is not something you want.
I’m certainly no expert on potty training, but I also have a three-year old son. Frankly, he’s not ready as we discovered recently after putting him in underwear all day and ending up with nothing but a lot of soiled clothes. Every child is different in their readiness to potty train, girls pick it up quicker than boys and regressing is common. Sometimes bed wetting at night can be a symptom of another issue – upset about something at school/home, a change in routine/schedule, etc. However, sounds like the regression in this case is due to that nasty illness. I’m a big believer in not pushing potty training because I think it just backfires in the end. I would go with the positive approach with your son. Praise him if he even sits on the potty but doesn’t go. Review the routine with him: potty, wipe, flush and wash hands. I’d also start a reward system since he knows what to do. You could try a sticker chart, promise of a pair of underwear with favorite cartoon characters, etc., but I’d only use food/candy rewards as a last resort. I’d also get Dad involved. Your son may feel more comfortable if Daddy helps him. I’d also make going potty part of the daily routine. Help him understand that everyone in the house is also following the routine so that he doesn’t feel singled out. We use the everyone (including Daddy and Mommy) go to potty when they get up in the morning, before going to school/work, when we get home in the afternoon and before bed. Sticking close to a routine helps drive home consistency, which is the key to learning any new skill and to discipline as well. Good luck!
I have found time out and discipline don't help. It just makes them feel bad and gives them low self-esteem. I have a 7 year old son who is dry during the days but sleeps so sound at night he potties in his sleep. I have tried the bed-wetting alarms and getting him up before I go to bed, laying off of the liquids a couple hours before bed-time, etc.--all to no avail. At one time about age 3 he was dry at nights. Then something changed and he started wetting the bed. We have a good home life and no personal problems. So it isn't that. He was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. I have read that children with ADD and ADHD tend to have bed wetting problems. I have talked to a couple parents of ADHD kids and found that their children were not potty trained until 7-8. I think it is a chemical imbalance or a sleep problem, as a shotgun could go off in his room literally and he wouldn't wake up. By the way, he has also been known to sleepwalk. I know this isn't an answer. You may want to start by making an appointment with your pediatrician to talk about it. I would say most pediatricians will tell you the same as I have. Don't discipline and put him in pull-ups for now. I can imagine it is hard to handle with your parents there. I know it is worse when my parents come to visit. They can't understand why he's not potty-trained and have also made snide comments about it. But, you are his parent and you are the one who has to deal with the problem in the best way possible.
he is only 3 years old and if I were you I would not worry too much. I have a three and half year old and she has only had a couple of accidents since she was a little over 2 (we started potty training early). But before that it was bad. I think children of that age can’t really control themselves and what they really need is encouragement. Good luck.
First of all, I really feel for you. What an ordeal you have been through with the Scarlet fever and antibiotics and all.
I'm so happy that your son is well, now.
Now there are several different things that come to mind. Your parents, their questioning of your discipline and the potty
training. Hmm, which one next?
I guess first is your son and the potty training - are you SURE he can feel the potty urges again, like before he got sick?
Perhaps he is still not fully recovered? Maybe he needs some more time to get back to normal. If he is doing ok with the
pull ups, maybe you can give him some time to 'revert' back to the time before you started potty training. At 3, you may
even be able to reason with him. Tell him that you are going to let him wear the pullups for 2 weeks, but after that, he
needs to learn how to potty again. Big boys use the potty, not pull ups. (Just so you know, my daughter did not even start
potty training until she was 3 and she did not master it until she was 3 1/2 - potty training was not a big deal to me, and
she was very late to exhibit signs of readiness. She also continued to have occasional bed wetting until almost 4. It was
my practice never to punish her for accidents, but one morning out of exasperation I asked her "Didn't you FEEL it that
you needed to go pee pee?" and she said "Of course I did" and I said "Well, then, why didn't you get up and go to the
potty?" and she said "I wasn't ready to get up yet, and I knew you would clean my bed for me" !!!! I did spank her then,
and told her that it was NOT acceptable to pee in the bed unless it was truly an accident and she couldn't help it. In
retrospect, I shouldn't have spanked her, I don't think it had even occurred to her that it was NO FUN for me to get up,
strip the bed, change the sheets and clean her up every morning. I think she thought that was what Mommies do. I do think
I was correct in stressing that I would never punish her for a true accident, but probably she would have gotten the idea
without my swatting her little bottom. I am looking back now, it was a more emotional issue 6 years ago when I was
going thru this situation... ) -- My whole point is, if you're sure he's ready, and you're sure they are NOT accidents, but
he is consciously choosing not to go to the potty, then you should use whatever discipline you feel appropriate. If that
is timeouts, then just try to be consistent. If the timeouts are making him upset before they even start and making YOU
feel bad, maybe there is something more going on? Maybe you are still worried about the after effects of his illness?
The easiest way to deal with your parents and the potty training at the same time, would be to let them handle it. I'm serious,
let them do all the clean up and the discipline and the potty training. If they don't like your methods, invite them to help you
and your son with the potty training. I can't imagine your situation, where they live with you and you are trying to be the
best parent you can be, but what have you got to lose in letting them try and see if they can potty train better? At the very
least, you need to somehow find a way to let your parents know that you are trying your best and it really makes you feel
bad when they question your parenting skills, and even worse if they do it where your son can hear. Let them know you need
their support, if not their approval. It must be quite a situation! Try to remember (and remind them, too) that you all want
what is best for your son. You all love him and the most important thing is for him to be happy and healthy and safe.
Oh, one thing I did when we were going thru the bed wetting, you can go to a medical supply store and buy some pads for
the bed. They go under the sheet and are for elderly or incontinent bed-ridden patients. They will protect your mattress
and they are super absorbent, so they make the clean up easier.
I just read over my response above and wanted to clarify that I almost never spanked my daughter. I was very upset about
the bedwetting, since she basically told me she was doing it on purpose. (And I know, being upset is the worst reason to
spank your children, but that's what I did. I also apologized to her afterwards and told her it was wrong of me, and that
I would not spank her again for wetting the bed, even if she did it on purpose, but that I'd be very disappointed in her if
she did it on purpose again, and that it was okay if it was an accident, because everybody has accidents.) I hate to admit
it, but she never wet the bed again. I hope it was because of the discussion we had, and not the spanking. But either way,
that morning was the last time it ever happened.
One last thought, maybe you could have him help you clean up each time, too. That way it isn't all on you to make everything
right again. He will have to share in the responsibility of cleaning up if he doesn't go to the potty. Again, I hope you are
sure that he is doing it on purpose. If he truly can't help it, it won't do any good to discipline him.
I wish you all the best. My daughter is almost 10 now, and I look back at the potty training trials and tribulations with
fondness. Like teething and drooling, and crawling and walking, and all the rest. : )
We also have a 6 month old boy, now too. So I'll get to see first hand how potty training is with boys in the not too distant
future. Wish me luck!
We bought our 3 year old son his favorite Spiderman/super hero underwear and he doesn't like the idea of wetting them.
You want to be careful that this doesn't become a control issue. I have two friends whose children ended up with Encepresis (sp?), a condition in which the rectum sphincter muscle looses elasticity and feeling. The children won't go to the bathroom for so long that the muscle finally lets loose and they don't even know it's coming.
Instead of timeout or punishment, put cheerios in the toilet whenever your son needs to go to the bathroom and let him "shoot" the cheerios. If you make a game out of it or reward him, I think you'll get a lot further. Boys are also more difficult to train than girls. My son didn't care whether he went around with wet pants. Eventually, they will grow out of it.
For the nighttime, again make up some reward system and put him in pullups. If his pullups are dry in the morning, then he gets a special treat or a toy out of a grabbox. Also, don't let him have anything to drink for about 30 minutes before going to bed and make him go to the bathroom right before he gets in bed.
My oldest daughter wet the bed off and on until she was 7. There is a hormone produced in the brain that signals your
body to not to release urine. When that is produced is different for every child. If there are no psychological reasons for your son wetting the bed, then I wouldn't worry about it. Another thing that helps you...put two layers of sheets and mattress covers on his bed. If the pullups don't stop all the mess, you can remove the top set and he'll have a clean bed to sleep on and you don't have to change sheets in the middle of the night.
You didn't ask about this, but it really is a problem having your parents question your parenting in front of your son. Tell them it's ok to question you about it and you appreciate their advice/experiences, but they need to do it in private. Them doing that to you is the same as you doing that to your husband or vice versa. It undermines your authority and it's disrespectful. I would also tell them that if it bothers them that much to hear him cry that they need to take a walk. Rescuing your son is not helping him or you.
set backs happen. I wouldn't punish yourself, your parents and most of all, your son. He is only 3 years old - many children, especially boys, aren't even potty trained by then. Put a pull-up on and forget about it. He'll grow out of it soon enough. Both of my boys weren't fully potty trained until they were almost 4 years old. They are 7 now. We survived and you will too. Save your time-outs for the more serious issues. I realize it's a bother and an expense, but try to deal with it. Give him a kiss, a word of encouragement and maybe even a treat/present when he does well. Positive rewarding will go over much better with all concerned.
The bed wetting at night is not necessarily your son’s fault. When he wets the bed at night, I wouldn’t be so quick to discipline. That is something he will have to grow out of. He may be sleeping so hard that he does not wake up when he has the urge to go to the bathroom. The ‘Goodnights’ Pull ups work well. They don’t absorb like regular pull ups so that he can feel he is wet. As he gets older, this will help him to realize he needs to go to the bathroom and wake up and go.
The day time issue, instead of letting him tell you when he needs to go, I would start monitoring when he goes and if it has been a few hours, I would make him go. My daughter was very good with the going to the bathroom if she has to go #1, but she had problems with doing the other. That took sometime, but she did grow out of it. My son on the other hand was exactly opposite. Again, we just had to monitor it, and once he got the urge, he knew to go. He has not had an accident in 2 years now. He is 6 now.
My son who has ADHD is still wetting the bed. The one thing the doctor has told me, is that there are many reasons for children wetting the bed, it could be as simple as not knowing to wake up and go, to being as complicated as my son not being aware at night what his body is doing. Children with ADD and ADHD sleep so hard at night, their bodies can’t wake them to go to the bathroom.
Before your son goes to bed at night, limit how much he drinks and make sure he goes before going to bed. This has really helped my son; we make up to more dry pull ups than wet ones now.
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Just so you know...Ryan was 4 years old before he was completely potty trained so your son is probably not 100% ready. I did the same thing you did.. the timeout thing. It finally worked but I sure was worn out from dirty diapers/pullups. It seemed the more I pushed the more he went in the other direction. I asked my pediatrician and she told me to back off and that he would do it when he was ready. This was not what I wanted to hear but I did it. It worked eventually. I know my message is not encouraging but I thought you needed to hear from someone who had been there!!! I don't know about you but I was extremely frustrated!!
It is common for kids to regress after being potty-trained at this age due to illness or other stressful events. Looks like positive reinforcement, compromise and patience would be better options for your son to get back on track. During the day, try praising, giving stickers or other rewards for going to the potty correctly and refrain from scolding and doing time-outs when accidents do occur. As for nighttime, allow him to wear pull-ups for now until he gets on track during the day and then gradually work on this. Do praise him when he does not wet his pull-ups overnight.
I believe that this would make both of you happier and less stressed about getting your son back on track.
I would recommend that you do not wait for him to tell you he has to go. Rather, walk with him to the potty every hour or so and ask him to go. Then, make sure he goes to the bathroom before going to bed…even if he has to sit there for 10 minutes. Finally, do not give him anything to drink after about 7 pm.
On the topic of your parents, you should sit them down and tell them that they should never question your parenting in front of your child.
Evidently even though we haven’t been thru this yet, we have some theoretical knowledge.
My wife said:
Her son should clean the bed (and anywhere else he wets) when he wets it…learned this in my potty training class in my twins club.
Punishment for wetting accidents is not appropriate. You might try rewarding him when he has had no accidents. At night, he cannot control it, so punishing is not going to be effective and will add to his stress. It is not unusual for children to bed wet up until age 5. Continue to use pull ups a night. Patience is needed on your part.
I know this is aggrevating to have your parents tell you how to parent. You should ask you mom what suggestions she has maybe something old school would work.
Boys tend to be a little slow in this area. What worked for us was: 1. No soft drinks. except for sprite from time to time, 2. Nothing to drink 2 hours before bedtime, 3. Mandantory bathroom visit immediately before bedtime. We followed this rule strictly when our son was a toddler and he still adheres to this routine today, at age 11. With boys, routine seems to be the key...
2 of my friends who went back to pullups from underwear had this same
issue. There are several different things we have done with our 3 yr old,
so, see if any of these will help you:
- Favorite character underwear - my daughter wears Dora or Jasmine princess
panties, and I remind her that it is not nice to pee or poop on Princess or
Dora - she has several toys of these same characters, and adores them and
understands that they should be treated with respect, and kept clean - and
going pee/poop on them does not keep them clean. We went shopping together
to pick out her favorite underwear.
- Rewards. Is there anything he loves? We figured out that gummy candies,
stickers, paintset (the messier the better), etc are things our daughter
*LOVES*. These are things she likes ++++more++++ than say, a typical
lollipop, or candy bar, or coloring book with crayons. When they really
*LOVE* something like that, I use those things as rewards. Instead of
saying "if you have an accident, you get time out", I say "if you go in the
potty, you get a new Dora sticker, or you can watch a new Dora episode -
(only 1 per day), or you can have this Timon/Pumba fruit snack, etc". When
she goes 2 or 3 times a day, she gets a new paint set - may be a trip to
Chucke Cheese, or a trip to the zoo, depending on how big her accomplishment
is. I push the rewards very very hard and I simply don't give her a reward
if she has an accident. The rewards are displayed where she can see them
but not reach them around the time that I think she needs to go potty. I
remind her that she can do it, and that other kids in her class are doing
it. Every time she goes, we make a HUGE deal of it. We call friends,
grandma, uncles, etc to announce our accomplishment. Followed by *big*
rewards they *LOVE*.
- target/Walmart sell cotton underwear with plastic lining. Kids will feel
the wetness when they have an accident, but it won't leak & mess-up their
clothes, bedding, etc. Similar to the "feel & learn" concept that Pampers
has also introduced with their Easy-Ups. You still have to wash it which
can be a pain unlike disposable pullups, but kids are more sensitive to it
this way
- Fluid intake / meals/pee/potty cycle. If you have the same routine of his
meals/fluid intake/going potty, it is amazing how regular the entire cycle
is when you actually *write it down*. It is almost as if you can predict
when they need to go pee/poop next. ~ 1hr after a meal for pee, immediately
after a big meal for poop, defintely before going out anywhere, soon after
you come-in, right before bed time, etc. Once you have a good idea of this
"routine", spend a saturday/sunday in your master bath or backyard without
diapers. Arm yourself with backup cleaning equipment, if necessay, but
don't let your kid go into a carpeted area unless they have gone potty. We
have books, even snacks, videos, games, etc in the master bath and the first
time I got her to go in the potty, we spent 6 hrs in the master bath.
I think the first 2 ideas above helped me the most, along with the cycle
prediction. Good luck, and hang in there, you are definitely not alone.
I would not worry about this, especially at night. It is not an intentional act on his part. Michael Landon did a movie on this once that was great. His parents tried to punish him and embarrass him, by hanging his sheets outside for all to see. Michael was a bed wetter and so was I. Use plastic to cover his mattress and have great empathy when he wets the bed. Nobody wants to stop more than he does... This can go on much older than three years old.
I does not matter whether your parents are right or wrong, you are the parent, not them. Tell them you will listen to their comments and advise in private only. You don't want to let your son play the adults off against each other.
I got the spiderman, nemo underwear for my 3 year old son. He was so excited to see that he is now big boy. I told him don't mess the underwear b'cos it looks so good on you. Sometimes he missed ..but still I encouraged him to wear the underwear rather than potty trainng diapers...
Also every one hour or so checked with him if he wants to go ..
Making a habbit is very important. Persistance is the key thats what made him potty trained.
When I was potty training my daughter, she was doing OK with the potty chair, but she would not go #2, even if i made her sit there for an hour or so. So for Christmas I got her one of the soft potty inserts for the regular toilet and it worked almost immediately!! You can get one at Walmart with whatever character she's into (Dora, Blues Clues). It was the best $11 I've spent. Look for signs that she wants to be like "big people", drinking out of regular cups instead of sippy cups, etc. You might be able to skip the little potty chair altogether. Good luck!!
The thing that worked for us was to get the child out of diapers (just have regular cloth diapers or cloth underpants) there might be a couple of accidents but this typically would get them to potty train faster hope this helps
We have gone through this twice with our two kids.
Start off with letting your daughter sit on the potty training chair when she goes potty. When she is comfortable enough, you can take off her diaper and go from there. Don’t get frustrated, she will learn eventually.
Don't fret -- she will get it, but it might take her awhile. Until she WANTS to do it, it might take her a bit. Try rewarding her with candy/inexpensive toys every time she goes on the potty. Girly things are easy to find for cheap. Put them in a reward box for her to choose when she goes. Make a chart and if she goes in the for 5 days - give her a bigger prize. You have to find what type of rewards inspire her most. This can be as challenging as the actual potty training! :-)
You should train her when she is about 1 yrs old..it will take time for it. You can use the potty training seat over your toilet bowl since she is 3 yrs old..Just remind her to go pee every 1 or 2 hrs at first and longer later, make it like a habbit. you should go with her and show her how to use the toilet paper and check how is she doing..even at night you wake up and remind her maybe middle of the night. It will be hard for her and you too but if you dont do it then she will pee on the bed..dont ever try to wear pull up for her at night because that way will take longer to train her. Boy is hard to train than girl.Just about a month she will used to it.Good luck
Get the book, "How to Potty Train in a day". Its great!We did it with my son. My husband really did potty train him in one day.The key is to set aside entire day with no distractions; just you and your daughter.Kick everyone else out of the house. Good luck.
This came up once before and I will give you the prevailing answer that showed up in the summary as I remember it. It is the one I used. My daughter needed absolutely no help. My son needed lots of help. They are only 11 months apart. The answer is a reward system for successes. Find something that she really likes and make sure she does not get it unless she succeeds. We used peanut M&Ms, just a few at a time. It took less than a week for the whole process.
My first suggestion would be to start on a weekend and realize from the beginning that it won't take days or weeks...might take months before she gets the hang of it. My son was HARD to potty train...it took months.
Before you start let your daughter pick out some pretty undies that have her favorite characters on them. Then what I did was fill them up with liquids and let them run around the house in underwear. She will have accidents but she needs to feel what it's like to be wet or dirty...otherwise she'll never learn. Go crazy with excitement when she finally goes in the potty...everytime. They love it. Some parents use stickers or M&Ms for a reward...that never worked on my son but it's worth a try...he's a difficult kid in general! You might get a book or a video before you start to give her the basics of what she's about to learn. There's a really good video out there called "I gotta go!"...might try that. You can probably find that on the internet. Oh...and don't forget that potty trained during the day and staying dry at night don't really go together. It might be a while before she stays dry at night....but it will come.
I have 3 girls that when it was time to potty train all we did was go to the bathroom together everytime. Plus I would watch for signs from each of them as to when it appeared they were needing to go potty. You have to be consistant with potty training. Start taking her on a regular schedule to begin with then as she gets the picture she will start to go when needed. There's really nothing to it when it's mom doing the potty training of girls.
When we started potty training to one of my daughter...
==> kept on telling her she is a big girl now and she needs to do what big people do...
this has worked a lot for us.
==> We started giving her stickers and candy (gummies).
if your daughter doesn't care about either one... try to see what she really like and make is so that she gets that only when she sits on potty.
==> We started putting her on potty every 1 hour regardless she does anything or not.
this has helped us a lot.
One thing is true universally is that we (especially kids) like if they are appreciated and be center of attraction. We started doing that and that helped her wanting to sit on potty and after she is done she can't wait to see our reaction.
When we started, she was 21 months... now she is 30 months... and she only wears diapers when she takes name and at night.
Be very patience... accidents will happen... but that should not be a negative thing for her.. encourage her and reward her (even if it is a big hug, good words, dance, reading books, stickers, candy... small stuff like that).
There are some really cute videos for the kids, girl and boy specific. I can still hear the songs in my head but can't remember the title. Try a search on Amazon. I think there are pointers for parents, as well. Lisa
No need for special chair. Remove the diapers, put them on toilet seat when you guess it's time, rest will come eventually and quickly.
I have just started this process.
I am having better luck with advice I received. I was told to put my son on the potty every hour even if they have already soiled their diaper. Rewards do not coax him to do it but he loves it when he receives them after he has done something in the correct place and he loves praise. My son will hide in a corner and get very quiet when he is going so I immediately carry him to the bathroom, sometimes kicking and screaming, But I am encouraging him with positive comments the whole way there, it has worked every time. So far it is working ok when he is at home now I need to get the Daycare on board with it.
As for a potty training a boy I am teaching him to go sitting down first and for awhile – someone suggested that to me. It helps to give my son a book while he is in there --- he loves Potty with Elmo it has Elmo talking etc. Also, I noticed that he hated the potty chair that sat on the floor because it pinched him so we bought a cushioned little seat that fits on top of the commode inside the circle, we bought one at Home Depot and one at Walmart.
Note: at first we hovered over him and stayed in there and talked to him but I found out by accident he does better if you hand him the book and leave the room(of course I am just on the other side of the wall waiting for his call). I wish I could give more advice but I am only in the first stages.
The best advice I was given on the topic was put them in panties...(todays diapers are too absorbent and they miss "feeling" wet) and try for three days using standard Potty training advice. (put them on the pot when they wake up, about 30 minutes after eating and before sleeping and praise them for making .....) If they don't get it in three days, put them back in diapers for a month... a whole month. If they are ready to be trained they will get it in three days...otherwise you will be training yourself...not them.
We did this at home and with our sitter, for my son and the first day of the THIRD try.. he got it...not a single accident ever. He was ready.
Now my neighbor said after trying many methods that for her son, that the best advice was to allow him to run around naked below the waist a few days but this was after months! of her daily attempts and reminders. All these folks that say a child can be trained before 3ish are training themselves in my opinion. And I say this after witnessing an adoptee from China pee after a whistle (yes a whistle) at 14months! Good luck and have fun!
Oh, boys are easy. There are lots of fun ways to teach boys to peepee in the potty. You can put dish soap in the toilet water and tell him to make bubbles, or you can put blue food coloring in the water and tell him to make it green, or you can put a Cheerio in there and tell him to sink it! This is what boys live for!
What I did with my first son, who LOVED to pee in the potty but didn't want to poop in it, was make a trip to Walmart to the chicken/egg machine (my son is now 21, so this was a while back), and put in 40 quarters for 40 prize eggs. I kept them in a paper bag and told him he could have one every time he went poop in the potty. He LOVED those prize eggs. That same day he started pooping in the potty and never looked back, and never had another accident. He was 2 years, 8 months old by this time, so he was physically ready. He had just been stubborn about it up until I found the right motivation for him.
I can't stress enough how you will be wasting your time if you try to potty train your child before they are physically ready. It's hard enough to teach a child how to recognize the need for a bodily function before it's too late. If you start too young, it will be frustrating for everyone involved.
Another thing I did when my kids were potty training is I let them go around naked most of the day for a few days. This works best in the summertime, of course. That way they will definitely notice when they start to pee. You will have a few accidents the first couple of days, but if your child is ready and you have a handy potty chair in the room with them all the time, it will be a very quick process for them to figure out what's expected.
I never used pullups unless I was going out with my children. Pullups are just pull-on diapers, and don't teach them anything about using the potty. They are just another acceptable diaper-like thing they can pee in. Besides, big-boy or big-girl panties are special, and kids don't like to mess them up. It's another motivator to put regular undies on them and make a big show of it.
Scolding and punishing DO NOT work for potty training. This is something that your child will figure out very quickly that only THEY control, and that you care a LOT about it. If it turns into a struggle of wills, it won't be a pretty sight, you won't win, and you will have to undo the damage it ultimately does. Use lots and lots of praise and positive reinforcement, prizes and rewards. It will work, and you will be able to take a vacation with the money you save on diapers!!!
I had problems training my now almost 4 year-old. He was still not trained at 3 and I only had about a month to train him before his preschool that required he be trained began. He had sat on the potty a few times but, the biggest problem ended up being that he had not yet gone on the potty. I ended up putting him in his underwear one day. He went potty on himself and did not like the feeling at all, so he started making more of an effort to sit on the potty. Before the end of the day we accidentally hit it right that he went on the potty. We praised him, and you could actually see the light bulb go off in his head that said, ‘Oh, I get what you want’. He had very few accidents after that.
Some popular suggestions and comments:
- Try rewards instead of punishment
- Try a potty training chart that will result in a reward after a set target
- Limit liquid intake about 2 hours before bed
- Go with pull-ups as necessary, but especially at night –OR- skip the pull-ups all together since it’s just adding another step to the process
- Once out of pull-ups NEVER EVER go back, it WILL stall the process
- Get plastic mattress covers or absorbent pads for the bed
- Get some cartoon underwear as a reward. Also, they may like the underwear so much they will keep it clean.
- 3 years old is a usual age of accidents. Bed wetting and accidents could go on for a couple more years or more.
- Have my son help clean after an accident
- See the pediatrician to make sure all is well and get his input (watch for urinary infections)
- Try making potty time a game by shooting cheerios or something similar – Make it fun.
- Have patience
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Yearsby Jim Fay, Charles, Phd Fay, Charles Fay
i tried the book potty training in a day w/ camden several weeks ago. it is geared for children that are atleast 2.5 -3.5 years old. most of the concepts were over camden's head; however, he was gone potty four times since the "potty party." i am going to wait another month or two and try working w/ him again, i think camden is almost ready,; he'll turn two in nov. also, i checked out several dvds and books from the library on using the potty.
Elimination Communication PositionsElimination Communication, or EC, is a natural, hygienic, and respectful way of meeting an infant's elimination needs--usually without diapers. The caregiver responds to the infant's signals, enabling the baby to eliminate into an appropriate receptacle, rather than into a diaper. The recommended time to start EC is before the baby is 6 months old, but at that age, sitting on the giant cold toilet seat is an overwhelming task for even the most brave and coordinated baby. So parents who use EC utilize some basic positions to allow their babies comfortable access to the potty. These can all be modified according to your personal needs and preferences. 1. The front hold: Hold your baby facing outward, in a seated position, their back against your stomach, with your hands firmly around their thighs. Bend with your knees (not your back!) to lower them to the potty or sink. 2. On the seat: You sit on the toilet seat together, you at the back and baby at the front, between your legs. This is great for babies who are unsure of the toilet. 3. The cradle hold: For babies who love to pee while they nurse, you can hold a receptacle under their bottom while they breastfeed, and cue them when it is in position. 4. The squat: Older babies sometimes enjoy squatting on the toilet seat, provided you support them so they don't fall in!
I used a Potty train book & video. We bought a smaller seat to put on the regular toilet (with a little stool so it'll be easier for my daughter to sit). We also skipped the pull-up since that's just another step you will have to train later if you use it. My daughter hates it when she got wet...we let her use the panty right away...several times she missed, she hates the result..so she starts going to the toilet on-time to avoid the mess.
Make sure you praise your daughter if she does what she's suppose to.
I hope this is helpful.
Please don't expect her to be potty trained by 2. It is not really
realistic until 3.
I used verbal praise. It's probably different on every
child, but verbal praise works with Clarissa. I only
use treats once in a while....I don't want to make it
a habit. I believe there are certain things that they,
as a child, should do as their responsibility. I give
treats if she does something beyond the norm. That's
just me.
BTW, there's a good book to read about child
development. It's a series of books by: the Gesell
Institute of Human Development.
https://web59.mysecureserver.com/gesellinstituteorg/publications/#
if the link doesn't work, try:
www.gesellinstitute.org
then click on the "publications". I've read several
books which use the gesell's books as their
references.
good luck!
We are having fairly good luck with rewards. Every time Austin goes pee pee on the potty,
he gets his choice - chocolates, gummy worms, Animal cookies -- we only give him a few at a time,
but he thinks it's the greatest thing ever.
At first we would give him one M&M or whatever just for sitting on the potty, but now he is beyond
that and no reward unless he actually makes peeps. Sometimes he will wet his diaper and then you can
see the regret on his face - like 'oh, darn, now I can't get chocolates!
Be sure whatever you try that she is ready and have lots of patience. I have a 12 yr old and I remember
getting frustrated, but looking back it was such a small thing...we are really not rushing our boys at all.
I know for a fact that this will all be over too soon! : )
Good luck!
If you see obvious signs that she's ready for it, it helps. 1) We did stickers on the calendar each time she was successful, and a complete row earned her a small prize.2) Morning worked best for us because you can time it easily - as soon as they get up, they need to go, and cannot hold it for very long. We spend a while in the potty while she talked, read a book, or whatever she wanted to do. For some of my friends, doing the "big job" worked better because they had a good idea of when their kid goes every day.3) We made a big deal whenever she was successful - calling grandma, etc. We NEVER scolded her when she had an accident or made her feel bad. 4) We also let her run around in the backyard sometimes without panties and left the plastic potty outside to remind her to go. (We had a very tall board-on-board fence, and no 2-story home next door or nearby).5) Having an older friend/cousin demonstrate, and explain to her helped too. Kids are more likely to listen to other kids, and learn from them than parents. Good luck, this can be frustrating at times, but your patience and kindness with her in this "major milestone" will help her get through it.No use starting until the kid is really interested in doing it. Every kid is different. My oldest potty trained himself in one day after seeing underwear that he liked (we did go through about 10 pairs on that one day though). If the kid is really interested in being potty trained then make sure to start on a weekend when you can stay at home so you can see it through. We had one tough day with many accidents but we didn't make him revert back to diapers and by the next day he had learned and never had an accident since. He was 2 1/4.
My youngest, on the other hand, was never very motivated and finally became potty trained at 4. In the meantime the teachers pushed it early which I think led to resistance from him. Also meant we transitioned to pull ups (very expensive) early.
My husband’s cousin has 4 kids. 1 girl and 3 boys. She gave me great advice and it worked for Jackson. She told me that she really did the “potty-training thing” with the oldest two (one boy, one girl) starting at 2 ½. They were potty trained by 3 and a few months. It was 8 months of constant work placing an unwilling child on a potty seat. They youngest two boys she took a completely different approach and they were trained by the exact same age. She waited until they responded in the affirmative when she asked if they wanted to start going in the potty instead of diapers. If they said no, she just waited a week and asked again. Once they hit 3 she started telling them that they didn’t have to go on the potty, but if they went in their diaper they had to sit on a chair until she had time to change them. Now it was important that this was NOT worded as a punishment, just something like “uh oh Tommy, you tee-teed/pooped in your diaper and now we need to change you before you can go play. Wait right here for a minute for me to finish doing “whatever” and then we’ll change you and you can keep playing. If your child is like mine, the main reason for continuing to go in his diaper was that he didn’t want to stop playing to take a bathroom break. This helped cure that problem. I started this when Jack was 3 and he really had no interest in the potty. Magically he went from “no, I’ll just sit here and wait for you to change me” to “I want to wear big boy underwear” in a matter of weeks. Granted, he was 2 months past his 3rd birthday before he was trained, but I avoided all the hassle of forcing him to sit (and me to wait patiently nearby) on the potty for months at a time. My mother was horrified that I waited that long to start (in her mind I was of course potty trained by my second birthday) but I had a newborn baby and no interest in rushing out of diapers and on to toilets, particularly while toting an infant.
My son Carson at 2 1/2 asked to sit on the potty... he pooped. I was blown away. (Prior to this he had sat on it to pee and had stood next to it to pee--but never poop). The next day I put him in underwear and set a kitchen timer for every 30-45 minutes (cannot remember)... So instead of me reminding him it was time to sit on the potty, the timer did. And I tried not to battle... just said "the timer said it is time". The next day I put the timer about 1 hour apart. Then the next two hours. He had one pee-pee accident and one poo-poo. Then he was trained!! I thought I had found the magic pill.... haha Well my daughter is a whole other ball of wax. We tried this when she was 2 1/2 (aren't girls supposed to be easier? ha) And she had accidents almost once a day (for a couple of months). So this approach didn't work as well. But she was trained after about 3 months of me taking her every few hours. (Hell, I still have to MAKE her sit on the potty sometimes, and she is 3 1/2). STUBBORN.
I do think when they are really ready they will just do it (for the most part)...
Months of "accidents" and hassling William to go potty is not something I was willing to put myself through. I waited until a few months before his 3rd birthday to tell him that 3 year olds go potty in the big boy potty. He was with me at SAMS when we bought his "last" industrial sized box of diapers, and I made a point to tell him "William this is the last box of diapers Mommy is going to buy". I would ask him randomly as our last box of diapers dwindled - "William, what are we going to do when our diapers are all gone?". He would reply "go to the big boy potty". When we ran out (on a Friday 2 weeks after his 3rd birthday) I put regular underwear on him and sat him on the toddler potty every 30 min. until he finally peed in the toddler potty (he had 2 accidents on the tile before he went in the potty). Once he peed in the potty we high fived and went to Marble Slab. The next day he pooped in the potty and that was a toy from the dollar store! Then we made a poster with 30 squares and I told him that every day that he went potty in the potty he would get to fill 1 square with stickers and that when all 30 squares were filled he would get a bike. 48 hours later...he was trained! Hope that helps!
Olivia, one thing we did for our youngest two girls was to have a reward jar near the potty that she could choose something from each time she went potty. We had snack size candy, McDonald's toys, hair accessories and small books. Then, if she went all week with no accidents, she got to go to Toys-R-Us (with a limit of course) for another treat.
You have to find which rewards work best for your child. Once you do, wow -- it's amazing! Good luck!
It's amazing to see we are all tackling the potty training stages!! My daughter Katelyn Avery will be 3 end of Oct and we are in full stage training! I think its all about being consistent and establishing a routine for them, which they thrive on. And I also believe they will succeed when they are ready, own their own terms and with our encouragement with their success!! My sign that it was time to move on, is when Katelyn literally told me she didn't want to wear her diapers anymore and when she was waking up dry in the mornings! We of course moved on to Pull-ups. These have been a hit for us because we all know the "I wanna do it by myself" stage, and it encouraged her to put them on by herself and good way to encourage no peep-peep so that the designs didn't go away.
Before going to her current pre-school program, my previous day care provider helped me with the process and she taught only on the big toilet, no small kiddie potty. Katelyn was around a couple of other older toddlers all potty trained or in training and of course that helped because she wanted to do what they were doing. We are just now getting out the "I don't need to go potty" at home - I guess she thought she was too busy at home to worry about the potty. In her current pre-school program (Village Learning Center, minutes from our neighborhood) they have the kids go to the restroom every single hour. Their restrooms are at their level, meaning the counters/sinks are lowered so they can wash their hands with ease and their toilets are smaller versions of the real thing! So when we get home from pre-school I maintain the every single hour routine till bedtime and all of this week we have had huge success with no accidents and remained in our big girl underwear until bedtime. We are using Pull-ups only at night and sometimes on the weekend. Our next hurdle for us is understanding that "everyone poops on the potty", still are having a little hurdle in this area - all in good time - unfortunately it does not happen over night - I guess that's why its call potty training!!
These are a few things that are working for us:
~purchasing a ton of "big girl" underwear - our pick the Disney princesses - picking out who we want to wear is a big thing!
~buy a seat with handles that you place on the toilet and a stool helping them get on the toilet
~if we are just too busy to go potty, I make it a game to get to the restroom - singing a silly song or something for them that its fun
~in the very beginning I would turn on the water in the sink to a trickle - don't know what it is but always seems to work
I noticed that the pullups didn't really work that well with both my girls, because they felt like diapers to them. So you can try that at first but if they don't get the idea you may have go to the training pants.
You should consider purchasing "training underwear". These are cotton panties that are padded with extra thick cotton on the bottom (crotch area) to help absorb wetness. Buy lots of them at least consider you might need 3 a day initially. You may not wash daily so you should have 10 on hand so you aren't washing 24X7. You can purchase these cotton "training underwear" at Walmart. It's been about 2 years since I shopped for these so you might have to look at a few places.
I don't recommend a baby potty... rather get a fitting that will fit onto your toilet. Check out this one on toysrus-- http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2654424&cp=2255976.2256090&pg=2&parentPage=family
Get a step stool. So that she can get up on the potty. You can use this later, when she starts to brush her teeth at the sink herself. She'll be able to reach the water handles with this. See this one-- http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2574104&cp=2255976.2256090&pg=2&parentPage=family
Also, reward her when she goes to the potty. My oldest was happy with stickers. My youngest wanted 2-4 skittles each time she went to the potty. Whatever you can do to make it a big deal.
Finally, take her shopping for her first set of panties. You should probiby do this when she shows signs that she is trying to let you know she has to go. Tell her how important it is to keep the panties clean. If she has a special character that she adores that will help her to take care of her new panties.
Good luck.
When potty training each of my 3 daughters, I took them every time I went. Also when they had something to drink, I would take them to potty about 30 minutes afterwards for right after then usually when I went.My daughter started to potty train when she was 2 but
regressed when our baby was born. Now at 3 she is willing and wanting
to get out of her diapers. It just took time and patience.
It also helped that she got M&Ms for making potty and after one week of
no mistakes, she got to go to chuck-e-cheese. Really, she started doing really good after the chocolate/sticker idea was introduced. I don't like bribery but if it works, it works. She got 3 M&Ms for #1 and 6 M&Ms for #2. Give her a sticker on a chart every time she goes give her a sticker (they have a Dora potty chart at Burlington coat factory for potty and washing hands afterwards).
You have to take her to the potty consistently at first even if she
doesn't go. I usually kept books or would sing a song while she sat
there. She really liked the Dora cushion (you put on top of your
toilet) rather than the separate potty (bought an expensive one based on rating on amazon.com). We potty-trained our kids most of the way by setting aside an entire week (the week of Thanksgiving) where we did pretty much nothing but potty-training. We didn't go anywhere, really. And no pull-ups--unless they were sleeping. We followed the recommended procedure in the book "Toddlerwise"---and it was really hard at first, but I REALLY believe it worked much better than dragging it out.
My little one was pretty stubborn. We just had to set hard and fast rules about going potty ... before dinner you have to try to potty. Before we leave to house to go anywhere you have to try to go potty. Before bath, before bed ... Eventually it just started working.
Good luck. I know how frustrating that can be.
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My daughter sailed through potty training but my son needed some help. They are 11 months apart. He responded to a reward system very quickly. With each successful trip to the toilet, he was rewarded by 3 to 4 peanut M&Ms. He was completely trained in a little over one week. We were very strict and did not reward any mistakes or near misses, only complete successes.
I don’t know if this is endorsed by experts but it certainly worked for us. The treat of course is child specific
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Trying a sticker approach. Every time she makes effort put a sticker on her shirt or on a poster in the bathroom and every time she goes she gets 2 or 3 stickers or even a special sticker (whomever she likes – Dora, Blue’s Clues, whatever and the other “trying” stickers could be simple stars from somewhere like Staples). You may even consider if she gets 10 or 15 special stickers she gets to eat on a special plate (whether you make this plate up or you buy some paper plates of her favorite character – this almost always works to praise my son for something). In addition be prepared for her to fall back into the lack of potty training after the next one gets here as she will feel a bit neglected. I just read a great suggestion on babycenter.com yesterday on how to prepare the “older” sibling for new brother or sister. You can take her to pick out a special present for the baby and wrap it, also pick out a special present of big sis and wrap it so when big sis comes to see little sibling she can feel proud bringing her little sibling a present and yet can be even more surprised by receiving a little something herself. Finally the advise was, to also go to the dollar store and buy a few cheap things for big sis and wrap them – then whenever you have had a lot of visitors or what not that leave her feeling a bit un attended to you can ask her to “help” change her sibling and then surprise there is a little wrapped cheap toy for big sis….
I know it might sound like a bit much but in the beginning I’m guessing my little one will feel very sad that he no longer has all of mommy’s attention and I think it is good praise him for help
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My pediatric advised us when we went through the stage: do not pressure them, not the under 2.5 yrs old since it may cause the withdraw and back fight sometime. Well…I did not take it serious and it happened just like the Dr said. Eventually, they will be ready when they decide they do not want to make the mesh in their pant any more. And when they are ready, it’s a matter of a couple days. When my kids get ready, they make it happen over just 2-3 days -on their own and we don’t pressure them into it (after my 1st try).
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It’s been a couple of years since I went through this, but I remember the magic bullet being cloth training pants or just regular underwear. I’m not sure if you are using them, but as long as I used pull-ups, it was too easy for my daughters to avoid the potty. You’ll go through a lot of laundry by using cloth, but it’s worth it. They potty trained pretty quickly (one within days, the other within a couple of weeks). They can tell that they had an accident and become uncomfortable being wet. Plus, it was fun for them to go pick out “big girl” panties. There are so many to choose from, it’s fun for them to pick their favorite character.
Your goal of two months is definitely achievable. Good Luck!
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First, congrats on the impending birth of baby #2.
Some basics on potty training. Girls are generally faster/easier learners than boys so you’ve got that in your favor. On the other hand any emotional/physical disruptions (e.g. birth of a sibling) can derail an otherwise veteran potty trained toddler. Even if she were completely potty trained today, she’d likely regress when the new baby arrives. The going at school, but not at home may be for your attention so that could get worse the bigger your baby belly gets. The baby’s not here yet, but she may already feel like she’s vying for your attention. There are all kinds of reward systems you can try. See the attached PARN summary. It’s about bed wetting, but includes lot’s of useful general potty training tips, books, web sites, etc.).
Good luck! And remember, the warehouse clubs (Costco, Sam’s, etc.) sell diapers at bulk rate prices – all sizes. J
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1. Offer rewards (like M+Ms) for when she goes in the potty. If she pees on the floor, let her know that if she went in the potty, she would have had a reward. Do not punish accidents.
2. Take the child to the potty every hour. My daughter often decided that she was too happy playing to interrupt her fun to go sit on a potty.
3. Expect some reversion after the new baby (my daughter was almost three when my son was born, and went back to pull ups for two weeks).
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With our first, and now our second, child we ran into the same issues. We read all the books and tried most of their suggestions. What it boiled down to was bribery! For both of our daughters the key was candy. In our first attempts we tried small toys or stuffed animals and had marginal success. But as soon as we introduced a small piece of candy she could not be stopped. I’m not saying candy is the answer for your daughter, you just need to find out what will truly motivate her.
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Don’t rush it! I know it would be nice, but you could make it worse if you put too much pressure on her.
I would try bragging about how well she does at day care and ask her to show you what a ‘big girl’ she is at home. Another trick, take her to the store and let her pick out some ‘big girl’ panties that she likes and tell her that when she starts being a ‘big girl’ at home like she is at day care, she can start wearing these ‘big girl’ clothes. No matter what you do, I would have some sort of goal for her to reach. This may help her stay focused on the task.
Good luck. I know I don’t miss those days. But I will tell you, between my 2, my daughter was easier to get trained.
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You just need to find the right motivator to make your child WANT to go potty in the right place. Obviously she's physically able to do it because she has no trouble at daycare. She's just not motivated to do it at home. Maybe she enjoys the time you spend changing her. Or maybe she just doesn't want to pay that much attention while she's at home. My advice is to have a reward system designed especially for her.
With my oldest child (now 20), it was those prize eggs that you get from the chicken machine at the store. You put in a quarter and get a plastic egg with a secret surprise inside. There was such a machine at the Walmart nearest our home at the time. He just LOVED that machine! Well, he could go #1 in the potty just fine at home (boys love to watch themselves pee), but he refused to go #2 in the potty (he was 2 yrs. 8 mos. old, so I knew he wasn't too young). So I went to Walmart with a roll of quarters and a paper bag, and I bought 40 of those little prize eggs. I showed the bag full of prizes to my son and told him that he could ONLY get one when he went #2 in the potty. From that day on he never had another accident! It was amazing. Once he was motivated, he was unstoppable!
All you'd need to do is find the perfect thing that would motivate your daughter. You could even make your own prize eggs stuffed with things that you know she loves. Or maybe she likes candy, or maybe she likes dimes or quarters for her piggy bank. It needs to be something that you're willing to give several times a day, so if you limit her sugar intake you probably won't want to use candy as a prize.
The only other piece of advice I'd give is to NOT make a big deal out of it when she has an accident. Make a BIG deal out of it when she does use the potty, but don't fuss if she doesn't get it right. Try to pay as little attention to the accidents as you can. That way she'll get more attention when she does get it right, and it'll be even a better motivator.
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Try getting her some fun books on Potty Training with buttons and sound chips of the toilet flushing, etc. Also, buy some stickers that she likes and keep them in the bathroom for a reward when she goes potty like a big girl.
Both of these things worked for me.
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I have a 2 year 9 month old daughter. She started to use the potty just after she turned two. In my opinion, 2 years old is still young for them to ‘get it’ 100% of the time. My daughter was perfectly capable of using the potty, but sometimes she wanted to and sometimes she didn’t. Sometimes she told me beforehand and sometimes she had an accident.
I did take her 100% out of pull-ups or diapers during the day after she turned two and just put her in panties. Pull-ups never worked for her….she associated those w/ being ok to potty in. So I just dealt with the accidents and put her in a new pair of panties. Some days, we went through 6 pair!
I just stuck with it….I had baby #2 when she was 2 years 2 months old and she did regress a bit, but I never put her back in diapers/pull-ups. I just kept reinforcing the potty. I would say within the last 3 months she has got it completely. Very few accidents and even those are minor as she catches herself right away and runs to the potty. I still use pull-ups at night because we tried a few different times to night-train and we now realize she’s not ready for staying dry at night. Her pull-up is very full in the morning and she’s a heavy sleeper so she would just sleep right through it. I’ll probably try night training again when she turns 3.
I am not sure putting him in timeout Is the best way of trying to get him back on track, punishing a child for an accident…humm not sure, but you do what you think is best. It is all trial an error any way.
I would say put him back in pull ups and ask him quite often for a few days or a week or so…….…do you need to go to the bathroom? Every minute if you have to. It will be a pain at first but it will get him to thinking about it again. And from time to time take him to the bathroom and sit him on the potty and see what happens (talk to him make it positive), especially if you see any signs at all. Even if he has already done it take him anyway and gently say “this is where you need to go potty”. Everyone will have to do the same thing all day to have some consistency, so you need to get your day care person on board with this as well. This worked for my friend and I read a little about it on www.Babycenter.com. It may or may not work but as I said before it is all trial an error.
Figure out how to make it fun for him to go in the potty chair (put some toys next to it etc.). Maybe try a reward system or something.
One lady here said ask him why he will not go in the potty anymore? She said you may be surprised how he answers. ????
I do not have much on night time bed wetting but I heard of one parent waking her child up 2 or 3 times a night to go to the potty for about 3 weeks and it stopped. I am not sure I would try that or that this is the wisest way to go but it did work for my co-worker.
Also, you may talk to his Dr…….he may have incontinence (I think that is how you spell it)or a urinary tract infection(baby Center). I have a friend whose son has incontinence and he is 3.
One more thought…….I do not know the reason you and your parents live together and I hope I am not over stepping it…I am sorry if I am:
There only needs to be 2 parents and if you are single one parent in the house who makes the rules and disciplines the child. It will confuse the child if your parents disagree with you in front of him. He will get confused on who has authority. This could cause respect problems. Their actions could cause discipline problems. Some how and I know it is hard you need to talk with them about it. If he cries and you are not doing any harm to him they need to stay away. With all situations they need to not disagree in front of him. If they do disagree they need to address it to you alone later when he is not around. Children are smart they know how to work it. Tell them you welcome their advice but they need to not argue/disagree in front of him. My husband and I will not disagree in front of my son, we let that person handle it their way at that time and talk it over later alone.
Grandparents need to stay Grandparents.
Just my opinion, I hope this helps.
Also, my sister in law checked out a video from the library for kids about potty training. It was kind of goofy but what ever works.
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It is very common for preschoolers to still wet the bed at night — almost half of all 3-year-olds, in fact. Occasional nighttime wetting (sometimes as often as twice a week) is perfectly normal at least six months to a year after successful daytime toilet training is completed. The most common reason for a child who's been dry at night — for at least six months — to start wetting again is a urinary tract infection.If your child consistently wets the bed at night, he may have a small bladder or may not yet have developed the ability to wake up in response to a full bladder, but this problem will probably pass as he gets older. If your preschooler starts bed-wetting after a long dry period, he may be responding to some change or stress in his life. Once the stress passes, the problem will probably also go away. What you can doIn most cases, the best way to handle bed-wetting is to treat it as something natural and unimportant. Above all, try not to put pressure on your child and don't punish him. Staying dry all night is a developmental skill that almost all children achieve in time, whether by sleeping through the night without wetting or by getting up to use the bathroom.While you're waiting for your child to outgrow bed-wetting, ensure that his mattress is adequately protected by a plastic sheet, encourage him to wear absorbent undergarments such as extra-thick cloth or disposable training pants, and urge him to get up as soon as he realizes he's damp. If he does wet himself, make sure you change both his bedding and his pajamas so his skin won't get irritated and he'll get used to sleeping in dry pj's.You might also try a calendar or chart system noting his successes (dry nights) while never reprimanding him for wet ones. "Seeing the number of dry nights increase week by week is usually a positive motivating factor that parents can build on with their praise," says Daniel Kessler, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Phoenix, Ariz.
What to watch out forIf your child "dribbles" urine constantly, strains while he pees, or complains of burning or pain when he goes, he may have an infection or other health concern. If that's the case, call his pediatrician as soon as possible. You should also talk with his doctor if his urine is cloudy or pink, or if he has redness or a rash in his genital area. These guidelines apply to both boys and girls.If a child starts wetting the bed after a long dry period, there may also be an underlying emotional cause. Talk with his doctor about any emotional factors you think might play a part, such as starting a new school, changes in the family (such as separation or divorce), or physical abuse. What's aheadTypically, children who wet the bed more than once a night will start to outgrow it by wetting the bed fewer times each night. Then they move on to wetting fewer nights each week, with fluctuations back and forth, until they eventually outgrow bed-wetting altogether. You'll want to steel yourself for the long haul, though: The entire process can take a couple of years.
[My son] has actually given us enough trouble that we have seen a professional behavioral therapist. He highly recommends the following book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1930429002/qid=1109780575/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-9144698-9828642?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
The essence of it is not to get upset, and give the child plenty of sympathy before setting limits or impose consequences. Then afterwards give them a couple of choices to redirect their behavior, and restore their sense of having some control.
A few examples I can remember:
Inappropriate behavior at dinner table -- Say "how sad, dinner is over" and take away food / get them down from chair. That's it. No getting upset, threats, or other punishment other than the end of dinnertime.
[My son] is too young for this one, but it sounds good. If you are having trouble with putting away toys, just tell them that any toys you pick up are going bye-bye for a day, but he is welcome to keep any toys he picks up himself.
Don't have a battle over putting on jackets. Give them the choice of putting it on inside, or carrying it along to see how long they can do without it.
Time outs are reserved strictly for out of control behavior -- hitting, etc. It is meant to be a time for the child to calm down rather than punishment. For other misbehaviors try to think of a logical consequence directly related to the act.
The universal advice from several sources was never to try potty training until they are ready and never punish failures. Unfortunately his serious illness may have set back his potty training, and you might just need to go back to diapers for a while. Hopefully he doesn't like diapers as much a big boy pants. You might want to skip the pull-ups and go back to real diapers as extra motivation. Then when you go back to trying, it might go like this: "How sad, you wet your big boy pants, you are going to need to wear diapers for the rest of the day." Then after changing him, give him a choice: "Do you want to wear your blue jeans or your brown pants?"
Based on all the research I’ve done 3 years old is pretty early for a boy to be completely potty trained. The problem he is having during the day is probably due to the fact that he had to wear pull-ups for a while due to being sick. I think he just needs time to get back into the routine of going potty. Consistently staying dry at night can take a good bit longer to achieve. My son is turning six this month and still doesn’t stay dry at night.
Also, I’ve read from several sources that a child should not be negatively disciplined for having an accident. However, your parents should not question your authority in front of you child. That is definitely something you should address with them (although not an easy thing to do).
I would suggest never punish a child for wetting his pants. Only praise him and give him little rewards for not wetting his pants...
Part of the problem to is he is getting mixed signals from you and your parents. If they are living with you, they need to understand that what you say goes and respect that. They for sure shouldn't question your actions where the child can hear.
Just before my son turned 3 he was potty trained. No accidents day or night. Just after his 3rd birthday he broke his leg. He was in a cast for 6 weeks. When he got his cast off, we had to retrain him all over again. We didn't use discipline, because it never helped and just upset everyone. We just trained all over again. Bought his favorite character underwear. I feel bad for your son, but he will probably just need a good long weekend of retraining and pull ups at night until trained again in a positive manner (stickers, starts, candy as a reward)
Good luck, I know it's difficult.
I hear boys are more difficult than girls to potty train, but when my daughter was 3 she and I had a little heart-to-heart talk about this subject. I told her, “Rebecca, this is something that is completely up to you. It is your decision about when you’re going to control your own self and pay attention to the feeling in your body that tells you it’s time to get to the bathroom. It’s all your deal.” And then I no longer punished her for accidents and didn’t talk too much about it. About one week after that she was finished with pull-ups and no accidents.
She is 9 years old now, but she’s always been a gal who likes to be in control, so she took this to heart. If you know what makes your son tick, you might try appealing to that part of his personality. Good luck. It’s frustrating I know.
Liz, the bad news is my son and my sisters son went until 5 before completely stopping. Most of it was just lazy ness on my sons part
It is hard on everyone when they have setbacks in areas they’ve already mastered.
You might try small rewards for success. My three-year-old responded well to a sticker chart. I bought at the grocery store a pad of sticker charts (about 4” x 6”) and small stickers to fit the spaces on the charts. He could place stickers on the chart every morning that he woke up dry. When he filled a page he received a small toy, like a hot wheels car, bottle of bubbles or small container of play-dough. I was pretty liberal with the stickers so that we didn’t have disputes about the stickers themselves. For example, if he was really proud one morning and wanted to place more than one sticker on the chart, that was fine. After he had mastered the skill, we phased out the stickers and I eventually put the chart away so that he didn’t ask for the stickers and prizes anymore.
You might also teach your child to help clean up the mess when there’s an accident. You can handle it matter-of-factly so it’s a natural consequence of the event rather than a punishment. This helps them learn valuable skills as well as teaches them that when they make mistake they can help take care of the outcome of the mistake.
Good luck,
Janell
p.s. You might also tell your parents about your strategy for reteaching your child to stay dry at night. In that context, you can also talk with them about the need for you to be in charge of discipline and that it would be most helpful for them to express any concerns privately to you.
Just my opinion (but my son is only 1 yr old). I would say that it is probably not uncommon for a boy to revert back when he had a month of pull ups. I would just try to be as patient as possible (I don’t how long it has been that he is back in big boy pants) and praise him like crazy when he makes it. You might even consider giving him a reward at certain milestones (i.e. Time to watch his favorite show alone with Mommy for going all day without wetting his pants and then a trip to chucke cheese for a week – something simple and small) but I definitely wouldn’t put him in timeout because this is not something that he “wants” to do. It is something he was conditioned to do again so he shouldn’t be punished for it, in my opinion. As for your parents – that is hard. I have a hard time telling my mom what we want to do but I find that it is so much more effective. I would try to calmly talk to them one night after your son has gone to bed and when it hasn’t been a stress filled day and let them know that you tried your best to respect them when you lived with them and you really want and NEED them to respect your decisions in your home. They don’t have to like the way you discipline but try explaining to them that if they counter it (or don’t show some kind of support for it – remember he is only 3 he will defiantly try his best to get out of punishment and if crying works with the grandparents then he will keep trying it) then they are really doing everyone in the family a disservice because your son gets mixed messages. If they want him to be consistent in going to time out without crying then they have to be consistent in ignoring his fits and supporting your actions (even if it means they just calmly walk away from the situation). These are just my thoughts, good luck.
#1 explain, to your parents, out of ear shot from your son that you will not tolerate them making comments on how you discipline your son, in front of your son. If they want to tell you about the discipline to do so later in the day away from your son and you will be happy to hear what suggestions they may have on disciplining.
Tell them if they can't tolerate the crying, when you discipline him, to go outside for a walk.
Cut out liquids after 5 PM and make sure your take him to the bathroom before he goes to bed.
My grandson (who lives with me) was around 3 yrs and 4 mos old by the time he had perfected potty training. The best thing to do is relax and praise him when he doesn’t wet the bed. We used to sing a little song “You did, you did it”, kind of like on Dora the Explorer it really made him proud. (When my grandson had an accident, I just told him, oh well let’s try again tonight). He would get really excited when his pull-ups came up dry.
Another thing that helped us was we encouraged him to go potty before naps and bedtime and didn’t give him a lot to drink prior to going to bed (just a little sip of water if he asked for a drink).
Good luck, he will get it down eventually. Try letting him pick out some new underwear.
P.S. My grandson is now almost 4 ½ and sometimes has accidents during the day (very rare), because he is so busy with what he is doing he “forgets”. I never make a big deal about it and just tell him to change is clothes and try to remember next time.
I recommend working on the daytime accidents first and don't worry about the night time accidents.
Both my sons went well past 3 years old before they routinely stayed dry at night. Sometimes they just sleep too soundly to wake up when they have a full bladder.
For daytime, maybe you could implement a reward system. We had a chart and used stickers to mark each dry day. After a certain number of days without a daytime accident, we celebrated with a special dinner and dessert. (My son proudly announced his accomplishment to the waitress and everyone else within earshot.) If you're having trouble getting through the day, you could change the metric to number of days with only 1 accident. (You know, this is starting to sound like a control chart.)
I do not believe that you should punish (time out) your child for bed wetting or for wetting accidents. If it was a true accident, then there is no need to discipline your child since it was an accident. Now I don't believe that kids would wet themselves on purpose because I don't think it is to their advantage. But with that said, I can understand you frustration over this. Maybe try and reward him when he does make it on time to the potty. Have a star reward where for every time he goes to the potty you put a star on a chart and at the end of say 10 stars you take him for ice cream or some special treat that he likes. That is a more positive way to reinforce the right way of doing things and might make it a bit of fun for him to go to the bathroom. When he does have an accident just remind him that he needs to make sure to take the time to go and tell him you don't get a star this time.And as far as your parents, although they might mean well you ultimately are the mother of your son and not your parents. I would have a good talk with them and explain it to them that although they might not agree with the kind of discipline you are enforcing on your son (time outs) that this is your (and your husband's) decision and this is the way that you have chosen to discipline your child. Also tell them that you would appreciate it if you did not comment about your discipline methods in front of your child when you are enforcing your discipline. This will undermine your authority with your child and this is not something you want.
I’m certainly no expert on potty training, but I also have a three-year old son. Frankly, he’s not ready as we discovered recently after putting him in underwear all day and ending up with nothing but a lot of soiled clothes. Every child is different in their readiness to potty train, girls pick it up quicker than boys and regressing is common. Sometimes bed wetting at night can be a symptom of another issue – upset about something at school/home, a change in routine/schedule, etc. However, sounds like the regression in this case is due to that nasty illness. I’m a big believer in not pushing potty training because I think it just backfires in the end. I would go with the positive approach with your son. Praise him if he even sits on the potty but doesn’t go. Review the routine with him: potty, wipe, flush and wash hands. I’d also start a reward system since he knows what to do. You could try a sticker chart, promise of a pair of underwear with favorite cartoon characters, etc., but I’d only use food/candy rewards as a last resort. I’d also get Dad involved. Your son may feel more comfortable if Daddy helps him. I’d also make going potty part of the daily routine. Help him understand that everyone in the house is also following the routine so that he doesn’t feel singled out. We use the everyone (including Daddy and Mommy) go to potty when they get up in the morning, before going to school/work, when we get home in the afternoon and before bed. Sticking close to a routine helps drive home consistency, which is the key to learning any new skill and to discipline as well. Good luck!
I have found time out and discipline don't help. It just makes them feel bad and gives them low self-esteem. I have a 7 year old son who is dry during the days but sleeps so sound at night he potties in his sleep. I have tried the bed-wetting alarms and getting him up before I go to bed, laying off of the liquids a couple hours before bed-time, etc.--all to no avail. At one time about age 3 he was dry at nights. Then something changed and he started wetting the bed. We have a good home life and no personal problems. So it isn't that. He was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. I have read that children with ADD and ADHD tend to have bed wetting problems. I have talked to a couple parents of ADHD kids and found that their children were not potty trained until 7-8. I think it is a chemical imbalance or a sleep problem, as a shotgun could go off in his room literally and he wouldn't wake up. By the way, he has also been known to sleepwalk. I know this isn't an answer. You may want to start by making an appointment with your pediatrician to talk about it. I would say most pediatricians will tell you the same as I have. Don't discipline and put him in pull-ups for now. I can imagine it is hard to handle with your parents there. I know it is worse when my parents come to visit. They can't understand why he's not potty-trained and have also made snide comments about it. But, you are his parent and you are the one who has to deal with the problem in the best way possible.
he is only 3 years old and if I were you I would not worry too much. I have a three and half year old and she has only had a couple of accidents since she was a little over 2 (we started potty training early). But before that it was bad. I think children of that age can’t really control themselves and what they really need is encouragement. Good luck.
First of all, I really feel for you. What an ordeal you have been through with the Scarlet fever and antibiotics and all.
I'm so happy that your son is well, now.
Now there are several different things that come to mind. Your parents, their questioning of your discipline and the potty
training. Hmm, which one next?
I guess first is your son and the potty training - are you SURE he can feel the potty urges again, like before he got sick?
Perhaps he is still not fully recovered? Maybe he needs some more time to get back to normal. If he is doing ok with the
pull ups, maybe you can give him some time to 'revert' back to the time before you started potty training. At 3, you may
even be able to reason with him. Tell him that you are going to let him wear the pullups for 2 weeks, but after that, he
needs to learn how to potty again. Big boys use the potty, not pull ups. (Just so you know, my daughter did not even start
potty training until she was 3 and she did not master it until she was 3 1/2 - potty training was not a big deal to me, and
she was very late to exhibit signs of readiness. She also continued to have occasional bed wetting until almost 4. It was
my practice never to punish her for accidents, but one morning out of exasperation I asked her "Didn't you FEEL it that
you needed to go pee pee?" and she said "Of course I did" and I said "Well, then, why didn't you get up and go to the
potty?" and she said "I wasn't ready to get up yet, and I knew you would clean my bed for me" !!!! I did spank her then,
and told her that it was NOT acceptable to pee in the bed unless it was truly an accident and she couldn't help it. In
retrospect, I shouldn't have spanked her, I don't think it had even occurred to her that it was NO FUN for me to get up,
strip the bed, change the sheets and clean her up every morning. I think she thought that was what Mommies do. I do think
I was correct in stressing that I would never punish her for a true accident, but probably she would have gotten the idea
without my swatting her little bottom. I am looking back now, it was a more emotional issue 6 years ago when I was
going thru this situation... ) -- My whole point is, if you're sure he's ready, and you're sure they are NOT accidents, but
he is consciously choosing not to go to the potty, then you should use whatever discipline you feel appropriate. If that
is timeouts, then just try to be consistent. If the timeouts are making him upset before they even start and making YOU
feel bad, maybe there is something more going on? Maybe you are still worried about the after effects of his illness?
The easiest way to deal with your parents and the potty training at the same time, would be to let them handle it. I'm serious,
let them do all the clean up and the discipline and the potty training. If they don't like your methods, invite them to help you
and your son with the potty training. I can't imagine your situation, where they live with you and you are trying to be the
best parent you can be, but what have you got to lose in letting them try and see if they can potty train better? At the very
least, you need to somehow find a way to let your parents know that you are trying your best and it really makes you feel
bad when they question your parenting skills, and even worse if they do it where your son can hear. Let them know you need
their support, if not their approval. It must be quite a situation! Try to remember (and remind them, too) that you all want
what is best for your son. You all love him and the most important thing is for him to be happy and healthy and safe.
Oh, one thing I did when we were going thru the bed wetting, you can go to a medical supply store and buy some pads for
the bed. They go under the sheet and are for elderly or incontinent bed-ridden patients. They will protect your mattress
and they are super absorbent, so they make the clean up easier.
I just read over my response above and wanted to clarify that I almost never spanked my daughter. I was very upset about
the bedwetting, since she basically told me she was doing it on purpose. (And I know, being upset is the worst reason to
spank your children, but that's what I did. I also apologized to her afterwards and told her it was wrong of me, and that
I would not spank her again for wetting the bed, even if she did it on purpose, but that I'd be very disappointed in her if
she did it on purpose again, and that it was okay if it was an accident, because everybody has accidents.) I hate to admit
it, but she never wet the bed again. I hope it was because of the discussion we had, and not the spanking. But either way,
that morning was the last time it ever happened.
One last thought, maybe you could have him help you clean up each time, too. That way it isn't all on you to make everything
right again. He will have to share in the responsibility of cleaning up if he doesn't go to the potty. Again, I hope you are
sure that he is doing it on purpose. If he truly can't help it, it won't do any good to discipline him.
I wish you all the best. My daughter is almost 10 now, and I look back at the potty training trials and tribulations with
fondness. Like teething and drooling, and crawling and walking, and all the rest. : )
We also have a 6 month old boy, now too. So I'll get to see first hand how potty training is with boys in the not too distant
future. Wish me luck!
We bought our 3 year old son his favorite Spiderman/super hero underwear and he doesn't like the idea of wetting them.
You want to be careful that this doesn't become a control issue. I have two friends whose children ended up with Encepresis (sp?), a condition in which the rectum sphincter muscle looses elasticity and feeling. The children won't go to the bathroom for so long that the muscle finally lets loose and they don't even know it's coming.
Instead of timeout or punishment, put cheerios in the toilet whenever your son needs to go to the bathroom and let him "shoot" the cheerios. If you make a game out of it or reward him, I think you'll get a lot further. Boys are also more difficult to train than girls. My son didn't care whether he went around with wet pants. Eventually, they will grow out of it.
For the nighttime, again make up some reward system and put him in pullups. If his pullups are dry in the morning, then he gets a special treat or a toy out of a grabbox. Also, don't let him have anything to drink for about 30 minutes before going to bed and make him go to the bathroom right before he gets in bed.
My oldest daughter wet the bed off and on until she was 7. There is a hormone produced in the brain that signals your
body to not to release urine. When that is produced is different for every child. If there are no psychological reasons for your son wetting the bed, then I wouldn't worry about it. Another thing that helps you...put two layers of sheets and mattress covers on his bed. If the pullups don't stop all the mess, you can remove the top set and he'll have a clean bed to sleep on and you don't have to change sheets in the middle of the night.
You didn't ask about this, but it really is a problem having your parents question your parenting in front of your son. Tell them it's ok to question you about it and you appreciate their advice/experiences, but they need to do it in private. Them doing that to you is the same as you doing that to your husband or vice versa. It undermines your authority and it's disrespectful. I would also tell them that if it bothers them that much to hear him cry that they need to take a walk. Rescuing your son is not helping him or you.
set backs happen. I wouldn't punish yourself, your parents and most of all, your son. He is only 3 years old - many children, especially boys, aren't even potty trained by then. Put a pull-up on and forget about it. He'll grow out of it soon enough. Both of my boys weren't fully potty trained until they were almost 4 years old. They are 7 now. We survived and you will too. Save your time-outs for the more serious issues. I realize it's a bother and an expense, but try to deal with it. Give him a kiss, a word of encouragement and maybe even a treat/present when he does well. Positive rewarding will go over much better with all concerned.
The bed wetting at night is not necessarily your son’s fault. When he wets the bed at night, I wouldn’t be so quick to discipline. That is something he will have to grow out of. He may be sleeping so hard that he does not wake up when he has the urge to go to the bathroom. The ‘Goodnights’ Pull ups work well. They don’t absorb like regular pull ups so that he can feel he is wet. As he gets older, this will help him to realize he needs to go to the bathroom and wake up and go.
The day time issue, instead of letting him tell you when he needs to go, I would start monitoring when he goes and if it has been a few hours, I would make him go. My daughter was very good with the going to the bathroom if she has to go #1, but she had problems with doing the other. That took sometime, but she did grow out of it. My son on the other hand was exactly opposite. Again, we just had to monitor it, and once he got the urge, he knew to go. He has not had an accident in 2 years now. He is 6 now.
My son who has ADHD is still wetting the bed. The one thing the doctor has told me, is that there are many reasons for children wetting the bed, it could be as simple as not knowing to wake up and go, to being as complicated as my son not being aware at night what his body is doing. Children with ADD and ADHD sleep so hard at night, their bodies can’t wake them to go to the bathroom.
Before your son goes to bed at night, limit how much he drinks and make sure he goes before going to bed. This has really helped my son; we make up to more dry pull ups than wet ones now.
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Just so you know...Ryan was 4 years old before he was completely potty trained so your son is probably not 100% ready. I did the same thing you did.. the timeout thing. It finally worked but I sure was worn out from dirty diapers/pullups. It seemed the more I pushed the more he went in the other direction. I asked my pediatrician and she told me to back off and that he would do it when he was ready. This was not what I wanted to hear but I did it. It worked eventually. I know my message is not encouraging but I thought you needed to hear from someone who had been there!!! I don't know about you but I was extremely frustrated!!
It is common for kids to regress after being potty-trained at this age due to illness or other stressful events. Looks like positive reinforcement, compromise and patience would be better options for your son to get back on track. During the day, try praising, giving stickers or other rewards for going to the potty correctly and refrain from scolding and doing time-outs when accidents do occur. As for nighttime, allow him to wear pull-ups for now until he gets on track during the day and then gradually work on this. Do praise him when he does not wet his pull-ups overnight.
I believe that this would make both of you happier and less stressed about getting your son back on track.
I would recommend that you do not wait for him to tell you he has to go. Rather, walk with him to the potty every hour or so and ask him to go. Then, make sure he goes to the bathroom before going to bed…even if he has to sit there for 10 minutes. Finally, do not give him anything to drink after about 7 pm.
On the topic of your parents, you should sit them down and tell them that they should never question your parenting in front of your child.
Evidently even though we haven’t been thru this yet, we have some theoretical knowledge.
My wife said:
Her son should clean the bed (and anywhere else he wets) when he wets it…learned this in my potty training class in my twins club.
Punishment for wetting accidents is not appropriate. You might try rewarding him when he has had no accidents. At night, he cannot control it, so punishing is not going to be effective and will add to his stress. It is not unusual for children to bed wet up until age 5. Continue to use pull ups a night. Patience is needed on your part.
I know this is aggrevating to have your parents tell you how to parent. You should ask you mom what suggestions she has maybe something old school would work.
Boys tend to be a little slow in this area. What worked for us was: 1. No soft drinks. except for sprite from time to time, 2. Nothing to drink 2 hours before bedtime, 3. Mandantory bathroom visit immediately before bedtime. We followed this rule strictly when our son was a toddler and he still adheres to this routine today, at age 11. With boys, routine seems to be the key...
2 of my friends who went back to pullups from underwear had this same
issue. There are several different things we have done with our 3 yr old,
so, see if any of these will help you:
- Favorite character underwear - my daughter wears Dora or Jasmine princess
panties, and I remind her that it is not nice to pee or poop on Princess or
Dora - she has several toys of these same characters, and adores them and
understands that they should be treated with respect, and kept clean - and
going pee/poop on them does not keep them clean. We went shopping together
to pick out her favorite underwear.
- Rewards. Is there anything he loves? We figured out that gummy candies,
stickers, paintset (the messier the better), etc are things our daughter
*LOVES*. These are things she likes ++++more++++ than say, a typical
lollipop, or candy bar, or coloring book with crayons. When they really
*LOVE* something like that, I use those things as rewards. Instead of
saying "if you have an accident, you get time out", I say "if you go in the
potty, you get a new Dora sticker, or you can watch a new Dora episode -
(only 1 per day), or you can have this Timon/Pumba fruit snack, etc". When
she goes 2 or 3 times a day, she gets a new paint set - may be a trip to
Chucke Cheese, or a trip to the zoo, depending on how big her accomplishment
is. I push the rewards very very hard and I simply don't give her a reward
if she has an accident. The rewards are displayed where she can see them
but not reach them around the time that I think she needs to go potty. I
remind her that she can do it, and that other kids in her class are doing
it. Every time she goes, we make a HUGE deal of it. We call friends,
grandma, uncles, etc to announce our accomplishment. Followed by *big*
rewards they *LOVE*.
- target/Walmart sell cotton underwear with plastic lining. Kids will feel
the wetness when they have an accident, but it won't leak & mess-up their
clothes, bedding, etc. Similar to the "feel & learn" concept that Pampers
has also introduced with their Easy-Ups. You still have to wash it which
can be a pain unlike disposable pullups, but kids are more sensitive to it
this way
- Fluid intake / meals/pee/potty cycle. If you have the same routine of his
meals/fluid intake/going potty, it is amazing how regular the entire cycle
is when you actually *write it down*. It is almost as if you can predict
when they need to go pee/poop next. ~ 1hr after a meal for pee, immediately
after a big meal for poop, defintely before going out anywhere, soon after
you come-in, right before bed time, etc. Once you have a good idea of this
"routine", spend a saturday/sunday in your master bath or backyard without
diapers. Arm yourself with backup cleaning equipment, if necessay, but
don't let your kid go into a carpeted area unless they have gone potty. We
have books, even snacks, videos, games, etc in the master bath and the first
time I got her to go in the potty, we spent 6 hrs in the master bath.
I think the first 2 ideas above helped me the most, along with the cycle
prediction. Good luck, and hang in there, you are definitely not alone.
I would not worry about this, especially at night. It is not an intentional act on his part. Michael Landon did a movie on this once that was great. His parents tried to punish him and embarrass him, by hanging his sheets outside for all to see. Michael was a bed wetter and so was I. Use plastic to cover his mattress and have great empathy when he wets the bed. Nobody wants to stop more than he does... This can go on much older than three years old.
I does not matter whether your parents are right or wrong, you are the parent, not them. Tell them you will listen to their comments and advise in private only. You don't want to let your son play the adults off against each other.
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